Resslin' Around, by Casey Ressler

Madison, my daughter, is my alibi every time I wander around in the cosmetics section. Even though she's only going to be three in November, I tell everyone who looks at me a little funny that she has to have a specific nail polish, and that I'm not that weird to be in that section in the first place.

Rainbow trout have my life turned into a cosmetic-section-visiting frenzy. As any fly fisherman will tell you, hand-painted beads are the ticket to catching more trout, and you have to have the right color in order to increase your chances. Which leads to new conversations that I never though I'd ever have with some of my buddies. "Aaron, have you checked out that new Maybelline line of Express finish polish?" I asked my best friend while my wife strolled the yellow pages looking up psychiatrists. "I like Punky in Pink, but I don't know if it is going to be pale enough. What do you think?"

As Aaron and I have found out, you can't be a cheapskate, either. Wet-n-Wild is only 93 cents at Wal-Mart, but clearly, trout like the $5 bottles of Maybelline more. And who wouldn't, really? I can't blame the trout there. Maybelline makes a fabulous product that is quick drying and matches perfectly. The fact I know about Maybelline's quick-drying product makes my wife a little uneasy, too.

We're not alone. A good friend of ours is a local guide who has obviously sold his soul to the fish Gods, judging by the number of rainbows he catches. Two weeks ago, we were up at his house in Willow, and there was the Holy Grail of nail polish, sitting on his counter. He guards that jar of polish with his life, but there it was, asking us to look. We quickly got a look at the brand, the name and the color, before Mike could put it away.

"I knew Mike was not a Revlon man," Aaron said. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. He just doesn't look like a Revlon guy. We should have known he was a Maybelline guy."

Another angler I know, a local school administrator, actually bakes beads made of clay in different sizes and colors. At the end of last school year, he gave me a couple to try, kind of like he was peddling drugs. "Here you go Casey, take one and you'll like it, trust me. Come back anytime," I remember the conversation going. I had some success with them, in fact, I had more success than I ever did with that new MaryKate and Ashley line of nail polish.

Unfortunately, the snow is about to hit and trout fishing will be over in the very immediate future, which means my wife has another couple of months in which she doesn't have to hear me say, "Honey, I'm running into town for a six-pack of beer and some nail polish. You want anything?"

Casey Ressler (valleylife@frontiersman.com) is the Valley Life editor and nail polish aficionado. He can't divulge the perfect nail polish color, however.