A hand up, not handout

I listened to a student share her very real concern about her prospects of becoming homeless. This was not going to be her choice, but the circumstance of her life. Her father was in jail, and her mother is on probation. Her mother was living with a third-party custodian. The third-party custodian was threatening to kick her mother out of the house. This would violate her mother’s probation, and not having anyone else willing to be a third party, would result in her mother going back to jail. The young student, under 18, would then be homeless due to no wrong she has committed.

This student’s options are very limited as a homeless youth. In fact, that is the reality for all homeless youths in the Mat- Su Valley. Her option for shelter is 50 miles in Anchorage at Covenant House. Twenty-five percent of homeless youth at Covenant House are from the Valley. Currently, the Mat-Su Valley has no housing options for homeless youth, unless the youth has a mental diagnosis, has come out of the Department of Juvenile Justice, or has been in foster care with the Office of Child Services.

One may ask, “Why not refer her to the Office of Child Services, since she is under 18?”

Unfortunately, that service is overwhelmed with cases involving much younger children. In our community, child abuse has increased 20 percent during the last two years and more over the last four. In short, this particular student, as a homeless youth over 14, but under 18, like many others, does not meet the criteria of being in “eminent danger.” (living in car, tent, or couch surfing)

Then, some may ask, “Why not Covenant House?” This would involve putting a youth on the bus and sending them into Anchorage. But, the bus rides do not end there. For her to continue school in the Valley, would incur a bus ride both ways, five days a week. For a 16 year old, I believe that is, frankly, unacceptable. We, as a community, are better than that overwhelming and frightening set up. And, I believe, it is a set up for failure.

No matter which way you dice it, or slice it, her life may become so fragmented, and it may unravel to the point she may give up, or worse. By worse, I mean the streets start to look like an alternative lifestyle. But, those streets are mean and unforgiving. In no time at all, homeless youths are involved in substance abuse. Then, along comes depression, early parenthood, impulsivity, and, worse of all, prostitution. In fact, as a female, she could very well be involved in sex trafficking within 48 hours on the streets in Anchorage.

Her story is not the exception. I have heard other stories of youth being abused, parents trapped in their own addictions, and mental illness, parents that have abandoned their children, and family conflict sending youths out the door.

These youths need — first and foremost — safe harbor, with caring adults to support them during these traumatic times in their lives. This would involve acceptance, without judgment. They have already lost so much: their primary caregivers. The bottom line is they have lost their basic need of security. Yet, we can provide them with the necessary mentoring (a positive relationship can overcome the bad effects that have happened in one’s life) to help them regain that security and footing for a hand up, not a hand out, to become self sufficient, productive and successful adults.

Now, you may want to know how to get involved?

Mat-Su Youth Housing invites everyone to a Candle Light Vigil at 7 p.m., Nov. 24 at the Palmer Train Depot. A fireworks show will follow at 7:19 p.m., sponsored by Stan at Country Cutts Salon and Spa. We will hand out the candles, then you can help with the hand up.

Finally, regarding the student, she is living in Anchorage with her sister, but her school attendance is hit and miss. She enjoys her friends here, appreciates the teachers at her school that provide her with support during this time of transition. Nothing would outweigh having her parents in her life giving her the basic needs of security and most importantly, a sense of love and belonging. Yet, she is safe and is trying to continue her education, which gives her direction, a goal, and a future. We wish her the best.

Michael P. Carson lives in Wasilla and is the vice president of Mat-Su Youth Housing. Michelle Overstreet is its president.