Blotter

Keep your damn dirty hands off my stove

State troopers got a call about a burglary in North Pole on Feb. 6. Thieves had stolen a $1,000 wood stove. It must have been outside a residence because those thieves would need to be pretty damn bold to steal a person’s stove from inside their house. Maybe it was an inside job or maybe the thieves had a tragic tale á la Jean Valjean, but probably not. After troopers finished at the scene, the property owner was probably driving around and hunting for their stove because they called troopers back saying they found it. Troopers responded to a location where they not only recovered the stove, but two stolen vehicles from separate incidents. Let this be a lesson: never steal someone’s stove in the middle of winter. They will find you.

Justified (alleged) kick in the groin

The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reported that a man was arrested and charged with multiple crimes after a scuffle with his wife on Feb. 8. The upstanding citizen went after his wife because she smashed his meth pipe when she found him with it in the garage. She told troopers her husband pulled her arm and shoved her into the garage door. When she tried to dial 911, the man tried to get her phone. The call disconnected, but she managed to call again. After smashing down a bedroom door, the man left the house. Apparently he called his wife’s phone while troopers were there and complained to them that she had punched his face and kicked him in the groin—something we hope is true. He said the only reason he tried to take the phone was because she was taking video of him. Troopers left, but came back after getting another call. The guy was back and arguing with the wife’s father—who managed to resist punching the man in the face or kicking him in the groin. Troopers arrested the guy although he denies assaulting anyone.

Your puny doors are no match for a Ford

Thieves used a pickup and chain to break open the front door of a sporting goods store in Fairbanks to steal an ATM. Goldstream Sports’ security cameras recorded the whole thing. The driver pulled the door open and two thieves grabbed the ATM. They loaded it in the back of the truck and took off. Despite being caught on camera, the suspects’ descriptions from the trooper dispatch are vague to say the least: “One suspect is a white male wearing glasses, coat, pants, gloves, and scarf. The other male was wearing pants and a hoodie.” Sounds like every guy in Fairbanks might be a suspect. The driver never left the vehicle, but the cameras caught some details about the truck that could be helpful. “The vehicle is a Ford pickup truck extended cab with dark tinted windows and side steps. There is a plug hanging on the driver side mirror. The rear passenger side bumper has significant impact damaged. Additionally, the truck has a loud exhaust system.” If you know something and want to help the troopers nab these dudes, hit them up at 907-451-5100.

Just give us your meth and be on your way

On Feb. 10 law enforcement intercepted a meth-carrying woman traveling from Anchorage to King Cove. Police in King Cove called the Anchorage office of the Western Alaska Alcohol and Narcotics Team (WAANT) with a tip that two women were traveling from Anchorage and were suspected of transporting drugs. With what seems like a lot of cross agency cooperation (Anchorage Airport Police, North Slope Borough Police canine unit, WAANT), law enforcement found 3.5 grams of meth on one of the women. Even after charges of misconduct involving controlled substances in the second degree, the two women were allowed to go on their way.