Creating peace: Beyond fight or flight to protect and mediate

The Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman noted in a recent editorial that few, if any, solutions have been proposed to eliminate bullying behavior. I've studied many of the communities in healing from mass shootings (on site at Virginia Tech, Columbine, etc.) and many wellness curricula (Red Cliff First Nations Prevention Model in Red Cliff, Mich.) addressing the prevention of violence and promotion of peace.

We might consider taking the power away from violence, abuse and bullying and begin by looking at our language and intent. When we say we want to develop anti-bullying programs and have a "no tolerance approach," that tells us nothing about where we want to end up. We need to move beyond saying what we don't want (bullying) and be very specific about what we do want - and have the will to make it happen.

We want a comprehensive, intergenerational peaceful neighborhoods plan sustained by neighborhood stewards. I will substitute "peace" and "pro-peace" for bullying and anti-bullying in my future columns.

One shortsighted view for promoting peace is that most limit "solutions" to schools-only. Although schools are a primary convening point for social interaction, they can only provide leadership and direct intervention six hours a day. What's happening the other 18 hours a day, weekends, summers, holidays, etc.?

Who else needs to be on board? What needs to be shared in terms of education (sharing information) and training (skill development)? Who carries on the tradition of peaceful co-existence in neighborhoods, including schools, when businesses, pastors, teachers, principles and superintendents come and go? What leadership skills and awareness of the neighborhood and schools do the new leaders have? Was the neighborhood meaningfully involved in the search process for new school and community leaders?

Our cognitive focus and behaviors collectively as a culture need a new paradigm beyond safety as a singular construct.

How is safety measured? It seems to be measured in nice packages citing the prevalence of youth violence episodically and anecdotally (hyped through the media) and with generalized point-in-time data by agencies like CDC, NIH and Kids Count. We need much more (quantity) and specific (relevant) data collection that reflects skills, attitudes and behaviors of youth in our Mat-Su neighborhoods.

We are in the awareness stage of addressing a pro-peace, comprehensive plan for our neighborhoods nationally and in the Mat-Su Valley. We need to be fully inclusive and respectful (i.e. existing traditions, cultural preferences, parenting approaches) with our conversations about paradigm shifting from bullying to peace and problem solving through consensus building.

Many stakeholders need to be onboard, including senior centers and seasoned citizens, neighborhood businesses, churches, civic groups, youth groups (Scouts, Boys and Girls Club, etc.) and especially our youth representing a full range of identities (age, gender, ability, sexual preference, linguistic, Alaska Native, etc.). All need to be present at the proverbial and literal table (face to face, social media, etc.), and encouraged and mentored every step of the way.

Our schools and churches may prove to be hubs in neighborhoods from which we organize much broader and comprehensive intergeneration plans. We need to lift up existing pro-peace traditions and develop new ones that will carry forward for decades to come.

As Camy, a student at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colo., who witnessed the shooting of her science teacher shared at a conference I attended a decade ago, said: "As human beings, we must move beyond fight and flight to protect and mediate."

I would scaffold her sentiment with "move from protect and mediate to ... enhance, appreciate and honor."

Ken Ottinger's son (see the Frontiersman's Opinion page, Jan. 27, 2012) certainly modeled "enhance, appreciate and honor" by befriending a student targeted by bullies.

We're on our way and in good hands with Ken's son choosing love and acting on being "thy brother's keeper."

This sentiment from Javier Perez de Cuellar, former Secretary General of the United Nations, captures a peaceful neighborhoods philosophy:

Peace is more than the absence of (violence).

Peace is living in harmony and

not fighting with others.

If everyone in the world were peaceful, this would be a

peaceful world.

Peace is being quiet inside.

Peace is a calm and relaxed state of mind.

Peace must begin with each one of us. Through quiet and

serious reflection on its meaning, new and creative ways

can be found to foster understanding, friendships

and cooperation among all peoples.

Paul Maguire is a Palmer resident and former professor at the University of Alaska Anchorage. He is facilitator of the Center for Creating Peaceful Neighborhoods and advocates for eliminating bullying and fully including all people in community.