Explaining the 53 percent

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If you have driven into Palmer lately and noticed a display of flags fluttering in the field across from the Alaska State Fairgrounds beside a sign that says “53%,” here is why.

A recent survey completed in the Mat-Su identified that 46 percent of women said yes to the question: Have your romantic or sexual partners ever slapped you, pushed or shoved you, kicked you, hurt you by pulling your hair, hit you with a fist or something hard, slammed you against something, tried to hurt you by choking or suffocating you, beaten you, burned you on purpose or used a knife or a gun on you?

Women were also asked if in their lifetime they had been a victim of sexual violence and 34 percent answered yes. Overall, the study indicates that 53 percent of women in the Mat-Su Valley have been a victim of intimate partner and/or sexual violence in their lifetimes.

The study indicates that the number could actually be higher as they contacted women with a cell or land-line, only spoke to English-speaking women and did not include women in prison, shelters or a hospital. Women who do not have access to a phone, do not speak English or who may be in an institutional setting may be at a higher risk for intimate partner violence. The study also reports that within the past year, 8.8 percent of the women were victimized.

Walter S. DeKeseredy, a professor of criminology at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology, is working on a study that looks at intimate partner violence in rural communities. In his book “Dangerous Exits,” he writes, “We present substantial evidence from our research and other studies of rural women abuse that male peer support, neighbor nonintervention and rural norms of patriarchy and privacy … are significant contributors to the victimization of women.”

Male peer support includes maintaining relationships with other men who will endorse and encourage violence against women. This occurs when men get together and share stories. In the men’s groups I have conducted with violent men I would observe one man telling a story of acting abusively toward his partner and he would look to the group with the understanding that each of them would have handled it the same way. This is in a group where they are supposedly learning to be non-violent, so imagine what kind of support and legitimacy they can give when they are not being observed.

Neighbor nonintervention can be thought of in the same way we teach children about bullying. There is the bully and there is his victim, but there are many bystanders. As neighbors who “do nothing” when faced with violence directed at women, this may include a wide spectrum of acts. It may be a “joke” or a crude remark that is laughed off. It may be witnessing a man saying emotionally abusive things to his partner and turning away. It may be hearing yelling through the apartment wall and turning up the television to drown it out.

When we look at rural norms of patriarchy and privacy for our own community, it may take more work. We can look at patriarchy in forms of male privilege. A Google search of this topic actually produces lists that include: my elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex; the more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true; if I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex; I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability or my gender conformity; my ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is; if I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she’ll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing.

This is only five of the 29 privileges in one list that is available. These privileges are common for most men in American culture in general, not just rural communities. Privacy in domestic relations has long been held as a right. We say things such as, “that’s a private matter,” “it’s between a man and a woman” and “what happens in the home stays in the home.”

The plan is for this survey to be conducted again in five years to determine if things have changed for the better. That means less victimization of women. If as a community we want a place to live where people do not have to fear the people who say that they love them, then we all need to be active in producing such a safe haven.

Here are some ways to become an engaged bystander.

1. Do not let derogatory remarks about women go without comment. These statements feed the idea of male supremacy and the lack of female value.

2. Talk to your children, boys and girls, about healthy, respectful relationships.

3. Believe the victim and provide assistance. Always remember that safety is of the utmost importance. Leaving is not always the answer as the violence may escalate.

Women who have been victimized and their families may want to contact Alaska Family Services at 746-4080 for assistance in dealing with intimate partner or sexual violence. The advocates at AFS can provide information and referrals to helpful resources. The flags were put up by Mat-Su National Organization for Women and may be contacted on Facebook (Mat-Su NOW).

Judy Gette, M.S., is an adjunct professor at Mat-Su College and teaches classes regarding victimization.