Make memories with your loved ones

The Independence Day holiday is just behind us and I hope that you and some of the special people in your life had a great day together.

In my thinking, “a great day” would be one where a memory or memories were made that later

on will be a source of joy and strength – and maybe even a little laughter as you recall the events of that time together.

In his book, Crisis Pastoral Care: a Police Chaplain’s Perspective, Dr. Thomas Shane tells a story about working as a chaplain at Ground Zero in New York City in November 2001. The rescue efforts are long since done at two months after the events of Sept. 11, but the tasks of recovering the dead continue.

When remains are found, the rumble of heavy equipment as well as all conversation cease within the confines of the area until a short prayer is offered.

The remains are moved to an ambulance waiting to transport them to the temporary morgue.

What follows next in Dr. Shane’s observations is an insight that is worth the price of the book.

“With my blessing complete, I walked slowly up the steep incline to the waiting ambulance. Once there, the doors were opened and the remains of the Member of Service [in this case a firefighter] were placed inside.

I entered the back of the ambulance…It was an opportunity to accompany not just the fragments of a body, but the dreams of a family.

Here was a father, a brother, a mother, or even a sister for all I knew. I was with someone who once shared dreams with other people; dreams that would never come to pass. Was there a son, perhaps, who went fly fishing in the Rockies with him just as I go with my son?

I hoped there were enough memories to sustain his loved ones for

the empty days that would surely come.”

Did you catch that nugget?

“I hope there were enough memories to sustain his loved ones.”

What a powerful insight!

Many of us who wear the uniform will leave our loved ones for periods of time. Maybe we leave to attend some professional military education. Maybe our unit is called to work a humanitarian assistance mission. Or perhaps we deploy to a hostile environment.

Regardless of what pulls us away, one of the greatest gifts we can offer our family members and loved ones is special memories that will help sustain them and our relationship to them while we are gone.

Every day, you and I have opportunities to make memories with the people who are important to us.

It doesn’t take a lot of money to make a memory, but it does take some effort.

Playing cards or a board game or a video game, reading a book together, or giving someone you love or admire a card with some thoughts about what they mean to you, how you appreciate them, on an “ordinary day” – these make memories.

It could be sharing a joke or a story that makes you laugh hard and long together. Maybe it’s getting ready for the big fishing trip; perhaps it’s the fishing trip itself.

It could be as simple as playing catch in the backyard or going for a bike ride in your neighborhood.

Maybe it’s watching sports together, or taking a walk and enjoying an Alaska summer evening together.

Most of my ideas don’t cost a lot of money. They do, however, require some time and effort and being intentional.

The pay-off is these simple acts create memories that have the potential to sustain our relationships.

Good memories are a source of strength and healing as well as laughter and joy and being valued.

May God grant us the wisdom and strength to create good and positive memories both for and with our family members, loved one, and our friends.

Enjoy your summer – don’t let it get away from you!