Men, make a resolution to Choose Respect in 2013

‘I am resolved no longer to linger, charmed by the world’s delight; things that are higher, things that are nobler, these have allured by sight.’

— Palmer Hartsough

As I contemplate the words of one of my favorite hymns of praise, I am reminded of my New Year’s resolutions for 2013 and am encouraged to think on things higher and nobler. I am resolved to set my sights higher in a number of areas of my life; specifically, I am resolved to be more patient with my children, to be more serving of my wife and be more dedicated and committed in my business and professional affairs. I want to be a man of integrity in my work, in my relationships and in my spiritual life.

Along those lines, as a community resolution in 2013, I invite the men of the Mat-Su to resolve to honor Gov. Sean Parnell’s Choose Respect campaign and begin to put an end to the domestic violence and sexual assault that has plagued our state, our community and our homes.

In my personal and professional life and as an elder at church, I regularly see the ravages of alcohol and drugs on the family, and in particular, the devastating effects of domestic violence, sexual assault and child sex abuse. As a community, we must do a better job of teaching our men, and by example we must role-model for our young men the idea that it is never acceptable to abuse or assault another individual, and we must always treat our women and children with respect.

According to information from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, there are over 5,000 cases of domestic violence reported annually in the 49th state, and almost 75 percent of Alaskans have experienced or know someone who has experienced domestic violence or sexual assault. The 2010 Alaska Victimization Survey indicates that 58 percent of Alaskan women have experienced intimate partner or sexual violence; 70 percent of all reported sexual crimes in the United States involve children (U.S. Department of Justice).

Between calendar years 2001-2011, Alaska State Troopers responded to and/or investigated 40,796 domestic violence offenses, responded to 5,484 sexual abuse of a minor offenses and responded to and/or investigated 4,483 sexual assault offenses (Department of Public Safety).

These statistics are appalling. Given this epidemic level of violence in our communities, I have joined together with other Mat-Su businessmen and community leaders, in concert with Alaska Family Services, in an effort to promulgate the idea of honor and respect toward our women and children, expanding on the idea that domestic violence, sexual abuse and assault are never an appropriate response.

If you are currently in an abusive relationship, seek help and counseling available through your church or Alaska Family Services. As a husband, consistently love and honor your wife, especially in front of the children. If you are a father, model appropriate behavior and mentor your young sons about their future relationships with women. Get involved in mentoring youth. Demonstrate positive leadership within your home. If you have anger management issues, contact a counselor at Alaska Family Services. Talk to a trusted friend about your struggles and hold one another accountable. Collectively, these actions will begin to make a difference and begin to put and end to the cycle of abuse and despair that is afflicting our families.

So men, my challenge to you in 2013 is that you make a personal resolution to Choose Respect. My prayer is that by each man individually taking a stand and choosing respect we can collectively make a positive impact in our community. Together, we can eliminate abuse and inculcate the notion that healthy relationships between men and women are the norm, not the exception. Won’t you join with me and resolve to honor and respect the women and children in your life?

Craig A. Thorn is a Wasilla bank manager and regional senior vice president at First National Banka Alaska and also serves as an elder at Wasilla Christian Church. He can be reached at (907) 315-3712 or thorn@mtaonline.net.

For more information about Alaska Family Services, call 746-4080.