Putting on your own ‘oxygen mask’ first

One of my favorite things to do is listen to podcasts, and a favorite podcast is called the “Robcast” with Rob Bell, a well-known and modern theologian.

I recently listened to an episode titled, “As Yourself.”

In this episode, he unpacks within the context of “love your neighbor as yourself,” what it means to “love yourself.”

He tells a story of a time in his life when he was tirelessly working as a pastor, author and speaker.

He was giving every ounce of spiritual and emotional energy he had as he tried to address every need he came across.

After spending a significant amount of time attempting to live life at a pace impossible to maintain, he sought out counsel from a guy by the name of Father Jack.

Father Jack just happened to be the pastor for a little band by the name of U2.

Rob e-mailed Father Jack and set up a time to meet him for lunch.

During that lunch, Rob expressed all the ways in which he felt spiritually and emotionally empty.

After going on and on for a while, he stopped and waited for Jack to respond to the mess he just poured out to him.

Jack replied, “Well, Rob, your problem is that you are trying to give a generous gift to the world, but you can’t receive generously... How can you give what you cannot receive?”

Some would call what Rob was trying to give to the world “grace.”

The interesting thing about grace is that, to fully give it, you have to be able to receive it.

Many of us are familiar with the “golden rule” that states, “do to others as you would have done to you.”

In the Christian tradition, the text tells us to, “love your neighbor as yourself.” So often, we try to love others before we truly know how to love ourselves first.

The idea of loving oneself can be tricky.

Most of us have grown up hearing the message that we should give of ourselves for others.

While there is nothing wrong with this, when we are always giving and never receiving, we tend to become martyrs or victims.

This makes it hard to really give to others from our goodness.

Instead, we tend to give in order to receive praise or accolades to fill our emptiness.

Loving oneself means that we accept that we have needs that are important and we responsibly seek to take care of those needs.

One of my favorite illustrations for this is that of the oxygen mask.

If you’ve ever flown on a commercial airline, you’ve heard the safety briefing.

That briefing informs you that,

in the event the oxygen masks should drop from their overhead compartments, you should make sure

you secure the mask on yourself first – before trying to help others with theirs.

This ensures that you are getting the oxygen you need so that you can be helpful to those around you.

If you tried to take care of everyone else first, you would pass out due to lack of oxygen and be no help to anyone.

We live and work in a very hectic and fast paced environment that can often leave us feeling drained.

This can cause us to make mistakes and be less than loving to our neighbors.

As you continue with your day, my hope is that I’ve given you permission to find ways to love yourself.

Hopefully, if we can find grace and love for ourselves, we will be better able to find grace and love for each other. Imagine what that could lead to.