Stop and smell the flowers — love one another

This past year, my great Newfoundland, Moby, passed away and I felt very connected to the human loss in the many shootings and deaths of innocents nationally. I also experienced the isolation that mild depression can impose, as well as the emotional loss of connection with some friends this summer.

I’ve been focused on saying the Rosary and simple readings, including quotes and stories from the Bible, as well as re-reading “Tuesday’s with Morrie” by Mitch Album. I share these thoughts after a summer at my home on Bradley Lake and bicycling the Valley. I’ve felt like I should listen to the impact of loss of life and relationships this past year as a growth opportunity. I’m realizing we might benefit best through quiet reflection. A popular blog comments and references the Bible regarding processing a feeling of loss:

“When was the last time you chose prayer over protest, fasting over fussing, or waiting over rushing?

“The Lord is ready to show you the way and take on your burdens. There is no need to rush ahead and figure it out. God is there and he asks you to rest in him allowing him to take your cup from you.”

In Deuteronomy 31:8, it says, “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

In “Tuesdays with Morrie,” Morrie, in his last days, comments on many topics, including about being present to one another and “how love goes on” after death. On page 136, Morrie addresses our failure, as a people, to listen carefully to each other (and put our individual agenda’s aside):

“Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry. People haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, and the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running.”

Morrie continues: “I believe in being fully present. That means you should ‘be with’ the person you’re with. When I’m talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I’m not thinking of what’s coming up this Friday. I’m not thinking about doing another interview, or about what medications I’m taking. I’m talking to you, I am thinking about you.”

When we slow down and listen to each other, we store memories remembered long after we are gone. A dying Morrie says to a visiting Mitch, “Do you ever hear my voice sometimes when you’re back home? When you’re all alone. Maybe on the plane? Maybe in your car?” Mitch says, “Yes.” Morrie finishes the thought “Then, you will not forget me after I’m gone. Think of my voice and I’ll be there.”

My wish is for us to stop, or at least slow down, and smell the flowers (each other) in our relationships with all God’s creatures. The words, the postures, the emotions, the bark, the meow, the shiver, the shake, the anxiety, the affirmation — be there for each other. The memories we accumulate will keep our loved ones with us forever.

Morrie reflected on what his headstone would read: “A teacher to the last.” As our summer Fireweed creeps-up the stem and as I prepare to return as a professor at Minnesota State near Fargo for the next school year, I’d like to be remembered as the teacher who “stopped to smell the flowers and loved others by being present to their unique aroma.” Let’s bask in the late nightlight and enjoy each other in the remaining long days of summer!

Paul Maguire is a Palmer resident and former professor at the University of Alaska Anchorage. He is the facilitator of the Center for Creating Peaceful Neighborhoods, and advocates for eliminating bullying and fully including all people in community.