A call to all good gnomes — come home

Have you noticed Garden gnomes making a comeback? They are everywhere, but not necessarily where you’d think they’d be.

While gnomes have resided in gardens for centuries, they seem to be just as likely on the move these days.

Since the 1980s the “traveling gnome prank” has become popular worldwide; or at least in those areas where gnomes reside. It begins with encouraging a gnome to run away from home, not too difficult a task in most of Europe as they proudly reside in many a front yard. The gnome launches on a trip, often to far-away places. From time to time a photo appears at the gnome’s home address showing him (or her) at any number of wonderful locations. Sometimes the lucky traveler is passed along from one host to the next, extending his wanderings indefinitely.

Reports have been made of gnomes arriving home, at last, with wives, children and wardrobes.

In the Sept. 24, 1986 edition of the Sydney Morning Herald, a note from one such gnome was published.

“Dear Mum, couldn’t stand the solitude any longer. Gone off to see the world. Don’t be worried, I’ll be back soon. Love, Bilbo XXX.”

Perhaps these errant gnomes have coupled themselves with one of several gnome liberation movements currently operating around the globe.

The revolutionary gnome movement, The Gnome Liberation Front, started in Europe some years back. It is desirous of freeing all gnomes from their garden clad prisons. It’s Manifesto contains two main points; to return all gnomes to the wild forests (quite a challenge all by itself since wild forests in Europe are not all that easy to come by), and to strip all urban landscapes of tacky taste. I like this one. I wonder if those plywood cutouts of fat women bending over could join in? Sort of a chubby chunk meets pesky forest creature on perpetual vacation. OK, that’s just weird, but it does conjure up some interesting images.

In France, The Front for the Liberation of Garden Gnomes, which brags that it has helped free some 6000 gnomes since 1997, stages gnome escapes in very public ways such as encouraging them to commit suicide from bridges with notes stating, “We will no longer be part of your selfish world, which it has been our unhappy task to decorate.”

In another widely published prank, gnomes arranged themselves in a round-about spelling out ‘Free the Gnomes’ with their bodies.

It is silly, I will admit, and no doubt just a bunch of pesky forest creatures making mischief in the city, but still.

The French police were worried that the elderly, who revere their gnome friends, would be beside themselves with worry and storm police headquarters to claim their loved ones, like an angry plague of geriatric grannies.

On still other occasions mass sightings of French gnomes have been reported in forests throughout the county.

In the Jan. 30, 2004 edition of the Christian Science Monitor, it was reported that a gnome from Greensboro, N.C. went on a sudden trip, returning some 50 days later with a photo album and map displaying his adventures. It seems he had covered some 11 thousand miles, 28 states, Canada and Mexico since leaving home. Whew! I’ll bet he required a new pair of shoes upon his return.

Yet another sighting was reported by a friend on his way to Seward a couple of years ago. He reported that, upon pulling into the train stop to Whittier late one night, he was greeted by a single gnome resting on the platform. Imagine his surprise when he read the note attached.

“Hello, my friend. If you are going somewhere interesting, I deplore you to take me with you! I am fun, resourceful and full of imagination.”

On the back of the note a home address was listed with an appeal to “please send photos to Mom.”

The address was from Richmond, England.

While not all of us can be lucky enough to pick up a hitch hiking British gnome, perhaps we should look twice at those tacky little creatures when we see them.

Just maybe one of them needs a ride, a meal or a mocha.

Better yet, perhaps one would stay the night and tell you of his travels before moving one. Just maybe.

Sally Koppenberg is a garden and food designer. She is the owner of Stonehill Gardens and The Red Beet, nursery and catering companies specializing in Alaska Grown foods, trees, shrubs, perennials and native plants. Contact her at stonehill@gci.net.