A heritage of love and healing

We often refer to our “heritage” as our traditions and culture, the stories we share, and the experiences that brought us to this specific place and time. Merriam Webster defines heritage as “something transmitted by or acquired from a predecessor; legacy; inheritance; tradition.”

To a certain degree, I have inherited my knowledge of Jesus Christ from my parents, who took me to church, taught me to pray, and helped me grow my faith. But at some point, I had to begin to build a personal relationship with and belief in God. I learned through experience to recognize the fruits of the Spirit and seek peace, joy, and calm for myself.

I know I have inherited different traits from my parents: my blue eyes, straight teeth, and ability to roll my tongue. These traits are tied to my genetics and how my experiences and environment shape the expression of my genes.

In my family, we also share a history of mental illness. I recognize mental health challenges among my siblings, cousins, parents, and grandparents. But I also feel their love and am inspired by all their efforts to move forward despite these challenges.

So, I have a heritage of faith, and I carry the occasionally debilitating effects of depression and anxiety. Sometimes they balance out, and I enjoy long periods of respite. Occasionally, the scales seem to tip, and I cannot feel the influence of the Spirit or the comfort of a friend. My head and my heart don’t always communicate well, and the disconnection can be alarming.

As a broader society, the ways we discuss or avoid acknowledging our common wounds are also part of our heritage: a culture of taboos and shame surround intergenerational trauma. We may inherit altered brain chemistry or learn and perpetuate abusive behaviors that repeatedly surface across generations. We are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves about our worth and worthiness and our ability to live according to the Lord’s standards or expectations.

I believe that the Lord is revealing more light and knowledge to help us understand and compassionately address a vast variety of mental and physical illnesses and trauma. We have access to more resources and an expanded perspective on the diverse ways our brains, bodies, and spirits interact, develop, and heal. But the basic building block of healing is LOVE, and our relationships are the conduits of that love.

In October 2019, Sister Reina Aburto shared her family’s experience with suicide and spoke of the healing power in talking together about our life experiences and challenges. She detailed the personal effort required to find healing in Christ. “During His mortal ministry, Jesus Christ healed the sick and the afflicted, but each person had to exercise faith in Him and act to receive His healing. Some walked for long distances, others extended their hand to touch His garment, and others had to be carried to Him in order to be healed. When it comes to healing, don’t we all need Him desperately? ‘Are we not all beggars?’” (Ensign, Nov. 2019).

Christ’s continual invitation to all to repent and come unto him and be healed is not condemnation for our wounds—those we inherit, the hurts we inflict on each other, and the consequences of our actions and choices. It is an invitation and a promise to make us whole and bring joy, even amid life’s chaos and adversity.

We find comfort and strength in our relationships. Yes, our relationship with our Heavenly Parents and our healer and brother Jesus Christ. But also in our relationships with each other. Our interactions with our family, friends, and communities provide opportunities to learn and practice love.

In Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey’s recent book, What Happened to You?, they emphasize connection and relationships in developing resilience. When we love people, we are vulnerable to being hurt, but our wounds provide essential opportunities to repair our relationships. It is this process of “rupture and repair” that offers a foundation for healing and forgiveness. In this space of relational friction, love has the potential to burn brighter.

In her epilogue, Oprah explains, “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. But we cannot move forward if we’re still holding on to the pain of that past. All of us who have been broken and scarred by trauma have the chance to turn those experiences into what Dr. Perry and I have been talking about: post-traumatic wisdom. Forgive yourself, forgive them. Step out of your history and into the path of your future” (p. 298).

As we seek to develop and express love for ourselves and each other, we can increase our capacity to feel the pure love of Christ—the love that shines on all of us, whether we are aware of it or not. Paul teaches that nothing can ultimately separate us from the love of Christ (see Romans 8:35-39). That love is our divine inheritance and can heal every wound.

Amity Condie has lived in Palmer since 2004. She loves reading, skiing with her dogs and family, and napping in sunlight. She is currently a graduate student in UTK’s Master of Social Work Trauma Certificate program and is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.