Welcome: the Key to Everyday Success

Hi!

How are you?

Good to see ya!

What helps you to feel welcome? What do you do to help others feel welcome?

Did you know you can make generally accurate assumptions about a person’s character within your first minute, or even first ten seconds, of meeting them? How many new faces do you see every day? Without even realizing it, you assess every one of those faces and remember them—their spirit, body language, and smile. No wonder we care so much for presentation— people will base their safety off of things as simple as the lighting in a room! The phrase “make a good first impression” is a very real concept. When we consider this, it can start to feel heavy, and even like we’ve ruined our chances at friendship or employment. But don’t let it get you down! God has granted us this knowledge so we can use it—let’s use it! In fact, this could be your key to success in everyday life.

The two biggest things that change how others may analyze us are our warmth and competence. The very first thing people will evaluate about you is how friendly you are, or how much you care. Did you know the nation-wide sign of friendliness is a smile?—Just kidding…kind of, but you get the point. No, you don’t need to be smiling so hard that your cheeks get sore, but smiling is good—so try it! If you already smile a lot, then learn to listen. If you want someone to know how much you care, show them by listening to what they’ve got to say! A good listener makes a great friend. And for all you awesome listeners, remember people’s names! While, “What’s your name?” may not be the best nice-to-meet-you phrase of all time, when you follow up with feedback tagged to their name—you’ve just helped them feel seen.

Competence does not mean that you are extremely talented in every skill imaginable— but it means you are willing to learn how to be. It means you strive for excellence in what you can do. If you start a conversation by listing everything you’re good at, all someone will think you are is prideful. If you want them to think you are competent, let them know that you are willing to try. They love music? Share that you’d love to be able to play an instrument. (Only if that’s true, of course.) They mention a requirement for the job that you were unaware of? Ask for their suggestions on how you could achieve that.

In a talk in the April, 2024 general conference, Latter-day apostle Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf tells the story of bringing a friend to church. He says; “As the sacrament meeting began, I thought about my friend experiencing this for the first time, and I couldn’t help but notice things that made me cringe a little. The singing, for example, didn’t exactly sound like the Tabernacle Choir. Restless, noisy children could be heard during the sacrament. The speakers did their best, but they were not skilled at public speaking. I sat uncomfortably through the meeting, hoping that maybe Sunday School would be better. It wasn’t.” Boy, was he surprised to see how exuberant his friend was following the meeting, and how she happily declared: “That was beautiful. I’m so impressed with how people treat each other in your church. They all seem to come from different backgrounds, and yet it’s clear that they genuinely love each other.” We don’t have to be perfect or polished to help people feel seen, loved, and welcome. Whether at church, out in the community or in our homes.

When was the last time we greeted new families, remembered someone’s name, or talked to the couple that sits behind us? As Christ said; “Come, ye blessed of my Father, [and] inherit the kingdom prepared for you…For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat…I was an stranger, and ye took me in” (Matthew 25:35).

I love to leave you with a challenge. God has given us a smile, why not smile? God has given us a hand, why not hold the door? We have the tools to take in the stranger. Let’s take ‘em in. This week save them a seat, or simply say hello.

When Darla Petersen isn't writing, she enjoys reading, dancing, and learning new things. She is 15 years old, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and a loud-and-proud sister of six. She hopes this column has helped you feel welcome and like you belong—because you do! :)