A worshipper in a secular world

From time to time, it is important for me to examine myself and review the beliefs upon which I attempt to build my life. Many times I have taken a pencil and a clean sheet of paper, noted the date, and written a note to myself. The length and subjects of the notes have varied significantly. The title has not changed. “As of this date, this is what Howard Bess believes.” The topics of the note vary. This is not surprising. Beliefs are contextual, and are open to change. Every day is different and brings new challenges to what I believe. The notes have never been published. They are for me, not for anyone else. The notes have been torn up and thrown away.

I admit that my beliefs are subject to change. The great realities of life are not fixed. Life is always in process. My beliefs are impacted by what I read, what I see and hear, what I discuss with others, what I think about and ponder, what I experience in day to day life. To that list, add regular Sunday worship service. I am an observant Christian. I am a religious person. I gather with other Christians for the refreshing of my faith. In that process, I dialog with the writers of hymns, with the writers of Scripture and with the sermon from the pastor. I share with a wildly diverse array of believers in the receiving of communion. In my present worshipping congregation, we recite the prayer that was taught to his disciples by Jesus. I cannot escape certain words in that prayer.

“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” In another part of the regular liturgy of the worship service, the pastor declares in the name of Jesus that all the sins of all the gathered worshipers are forgiven. The declaration of sins forgiven never has conditions attached. The believing sinner asks for forgiveness and the request is granted without condition. No penance or penalty is required. No promise is made “never to do it again.”

Hearing that I have a clean slate before God is appreciated beyond words. I was given an active guilt capacity. My imperfections haunt me. Hearing the declaration of the grace of God is reason enough for me never to miss Sunday worship.

In praying the Jesus prayer, I rejoice in the abundance of grace but am brought up short by “as we forgive those who sin against us.” In my understanding of the prayer, I do not believe that the believer is required to forgive in order to be forgiven. However, it is a powerful reminder that the grace filled life is most effective if grace is granted in all directions.

In my sorting out of beliefs, I have sorted out my understanding of the meaning of sin. I prefer the images of “falling short” and “missing the mark.” Hurting or helping, hoarding or giving, ignoring or giving attention, locking the door or granting hospitality, passing by or crossing the road. These are the issues of sin and righteousness. Everyone participates and needs both to receive and to grant grace and forgiveness.

I am constantly put to the test as an American citizen. We are a nation of law and order, not a nation of abounding grace. As a nation we judge; we find guilty; we punish; we remind one another of our failures. We do not allow for grace and forgiveness. How shall we live lives of grace and forgiveness in a land that shrugs and says we cannot afford grace?

The present election process is a special challenge to my sorting out of Christian beliefs. The first question is whether or not I and others of similar religious persuasion should be participants in the public life of our country. I believe, if we follow the lead of Jesus from Nazareth that we must. He was a person with profound public engagement. He challenged public systems and practices. He faced the dangers involved in engagement.

The second question is about the rules of our engagement. Do we participate under the prevailing rules of the system? Do we jump into the game of accusing, judging, threatening and vying for personal power?

There is an unconverted part of me that wants to be as mean and ungracious as the worst of the operators in our political system. I want to light a torch and fight fire with fire. Then on Sunday morning I pray the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray and ask if I can experience the delight of forgiveness if I am not willing to grant forgiveness to those who choose to operate with a different set of rules.

I am sharing with you my latest note to myself. Always be kind. Always be gracious and forgiving. Since I am sharing my note with my readers, I cannot tear it up and throw it away. Possibly this is one that is good for every age.

The End

The Rev. Howard Bess is a retired American Baptist minister, who lives in Palmer, Alaska. His email address is hdbss@mtaonline.net.