Addressing Pornography: online resources for protection, hope, and healing

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recently introduced new online resources for individuals and families to address pornography. By viewing the issue of pornography through a lens of protection, help, and healing, the website offers hope to those with pornography addiction and resources for their spouses and families. Parents can find answers to questions and specific ways for to talk to their kids about pornography and sexuality. Access the site at www.ChurchofJesusChrist.org/addressing-pornography.

Individuals who want to quit using pornography can find information and videos that inspire hope and provide a framework for change. Different online modules answer questions like, “Why do I feel so bad about myself?” and “Where can I turn for help?” Marriage and family therapists, spiritual leaders, recovering couples, and other professionals discuss the nature of pornography addiction and offer concrete steps forward.

“We are all worthy of love and belonging.” This message encompasses the most important aspect of hope and healing on the Addressing Pornography site. “When we sin we lessen the influence of the Spirit in our lives. This opens the door for feelings of shame and for Satan to have greater influence over us. He wants us to believe making mistakes makes us bad people and therefore we don’t deserve love. However, our Heavenly Father wants us to know the truth: we are all worthy of love and belonging, no matter what we have done or where we have been. We can look forward to being freed through Jesus Christ and His Atonement.”

Steps for healing and progression include the following principles: Find hope and strength in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ; Be humble, be honest, and seek truth; Connect and build relationships; Make and adjust plans; Be accountable.

The Addressing Pornography website also offers help for spouses of pornography users. Shame, blame, and strong feelings of betrayal can accompany the discovery of spousal pornography use. “In times of suffering, healing happens as we care for ourselves physically, psychologically, socially, and spiritually.” Ideas about self-care under each of these topics can help provide focus and balance moving forward.

The site also includes links to find support groups for individuals seeking to quit pornography and their families. There is also some solid information on how to connect with mental health professionals who can assist people on a more individual basis. These guidelines are useful for anyone seeking a professional counselor as they consider the reason for reaching out, types of therapy to access, budgeting and insurance, and finding the right fit.

The Addressing Pornography section for parents is especially useful. One area focuses on preparation and protection. Parents can teach their children to recognize pornography and to know what to do when they see it. There are suggestions for talking to your kids about pornography, videos you can watch and discuss as a family, and tips to establish safeguards and standards in the home.

One of the most important ways we can protect the children in our lives from evil influences, including pornography, is to establish a strong relationship with them. Spending time together and talking about their lives, interests, and things that trouble them helps to ensure that when they struggle with difficult choices or experiences, they will come to us for help and guidance. We cannot successfully insulate them from evil. But as parents, we have the responsibility to teach our kids to discern between good and evil and learn to choose the good. But more importantly, how can we respond with love when they make mistakes? We can build resilience in our youth as we teach them that they are always loved; they can always repent and move forward in life.

The final sections of Addressing Pornography for parents offer ideas and professional advice for responding with love and supporting change when they discover their kids have viewed pornography or become entangled in ongoing pornography use.

“Many of us reach a point where we feel no one could really love us if they knew the ‘real’ us. We may feel that we don’t deserve help from anyone and that we don’t qualify for God’s mercy. We are too flawed, too sick, and too far gone…Their message: we are not alone, and it is possible to change the way we see ourselves.”

If you or someone you love is experiencing pornography addiction, you can find hope and healing at www.ChurchofJesusChrist.org/addressing-pornography.

Amity Condie lives in Palmer and enjoys reading, writing, and skijoring with her dogs and family. She is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.