Alaska on TV — fact from fiction

I get kind of concerned about all of those shows about Alaska life on the television — those so called “reality” shows, like “Ice Truckers,” “Life Below Zero,” “Ultimate Survival” and other such programs. It makes me wonder just how people down in the Lower 48 really perceive us.

Should I ask my friends down there? I get the funny feeling a lot of people believe we all live off the grid, hunt for our food in sub-zero temperatures with an old rifle and a huge knife and eat nothing but salmon and moose meat. Maybe the think we live in rustic log cabins or ramshackle houses built from hunks of plywood and blue tarp in the middle of nowhere with junk all over the property with no electricity or indoor plumbing, burn wood for heat, use outhouses and cuss like sailors.

Well, I can tell you one thing straight up. I cuss like an old Army G.I.; no sailor can come close to that. Perhaps a dose of true reality is needed. I know for a fact that Hollywood has botched it more than once, like that horror movie produced a few years ago that was supposed to have taken place in Nome. It was filmed with huge forests of spooky-looking trees coming out of the fog with the sleepy little town of Nome Hollywoodized and nestled within. In reality, not a twig of a tree grows up there. Looks like BC to me, and to everyone else up here, too. Far from scaring people, it got lots of laughs.

So I hate to say it to my friends and family down there, but I’m going to bust some bubbles. For starters, I live in a house, a lot of people here do. It’s tan with white trim and wood siding in a quiet neighborhood in Wasilla. It’s not a log cabin. Log cabins, while they look romantic and very cool (I love them too) are in fact high maintenance and, from what some people have told me over the years up here, they are high insurance as well.

I use electricity for most of my needs. Most people here do. Without it, this column could never be. This is the 21st century, and I, like all the modern conveniences, like heat, lights, computers, Internet, TV and radio. While I may not have the latest gizmo as so many up here seem to have nowadays, I choose to live this way and not in the 19th century as most of those featured in the TV shows seem to favor. Yes, there are more than a few living off grid and living out in the sticks. I have no problem with that at all. Sometimes I envy them.

Alaska still has that pull for people of that nature. It always will, no question about it. They are not the majority as they were way back in the past. Subsistence living is a hard life — a good one if done right, darn near fatal if done wrong. It isn’t for everyone and is very far from glamorous.

There are houses and properties out there with “collections” that fit the bill of what those shows like to feature. Some of them would make that Holmes guy run screaming for Canada at the sight of them. (You know, he’s that home fix-it guy on TV.) It adds a colorful twist to life up here.

I don’t hunt or fish. I get my food from the local stores. Sorry to say, I do not own an ATV or snowmachine. By Alaska standards, I’m boring. OK, I admit it — very boring. I love to hike and take photos of what I encounter, armed, of course, I’m no fool.

I’m also a fan in indoor plumbing. I love the flush toilet and hot water for washing. Spend a year in a combat zone like Iraq and you will feel the same way. Now, I do like outhouses, and there are still plenty of those all over the place up here. Oh, I should add this. I only like them in photos. Some are very colorful, but there is nothing colorful about the smell. Stick your head in one — in the door silly, not down the hole. Do it on a hot summer’s day, too, and you will be well educated on the subject of stench.

What I have been trying to say is that those reality shows really don’t show the world what Alaska and Alaskans are in truth. We’re everyday people in a land of many wonders. Oh, they do get the scenery right. It’s hard not to considering what we are blessed with, but I do believe they missed with the people and communities that dot this vast wilderness we call Alaska.

I like living a rural, small-town lifestyle. Some like living a city lifestyle in places like Anchorage, Juneau and Fairbanks. Others live a coastal life in places like Sitka or Dutch Harbor. There is a lot more to Alaska than meets the eye or on the TV screen. It has a wide variety of people living in this vast land, from natives who have lived here for thousands of years to relative newcomers like myself, who moved up here in 2005. We all share in the challenges only Alaska can bring on.

I have lived in cities like Seattle, in small towns like West Redding, Conn. I lived on and off post during my Army career in Europe, Iraq and in the continental U.S. I found that life in a small town best for me after years of defending it as a soldier. Actually, living it is very rich indeed. I’m just making sure people down there in the Lower 48 get the straight scoop. I want to dispel some of those myths and misconceptions about life in the land of the midnight sun.

Maybe I’m not good dramatic material for a TV show. I’ll put people to sleep. I just want people to know Alaskans don’t hunt bears with a knife or live in igloos. (You would be surprised just how many believe that.) We are everyday people, living everyday life just like anyone else. We just happen to live in the most beautiful place on earth. I’m not boasting, I’m just proudly stating fact.

Wasilla resident Daniel D. Grota retired from the U.S. Army after more than 21 years of service.