An anniversary reflection: Does love change your heart?

In 2004 my wife, Kathy, and I had a conversation on which we can now look back with a smile. She had to be at work before 7 a.m. for a 12 hour shift. Therefore, she let me know that I was to be quiet during the night and not to wake her up. Kathy needed to be rested to go to work. However, in the middle of the night I woke up in pain. After taking some antacids I felt a little better, but then I ended up on the floor in pain again. I knew I wasn’t supposed to wake Kathy, so I got in my car and drove to the hospital. It turns out I was having a gall bladder attack. But, when Kathy woke up and I wasn’t there she was worried. When I got home we talked about my (ahem) behavior. Kathy expressed her concern that I left without telling her. I do understand.

Our conversation went something like this. I said, “So I wasn’t supposed to wake you, right?” She replied, “Yes.” I continued, “I did what you asked or told me, right?” Again, her reply was, “Yes!” “So,” I said, “When I’m wrong, I’m wrong. But when I’m right I’m wrong too?” Kathy laughed and said, “Your job isn’t to be right, it’s to say you’re sorry. And, you can’t just say it with your lips, you need to mean it with your heart.” We laughed. Thankfully, we have been able to laugh throughout our marriage. But, Kathy’s words set a pretty difficult standard. When I take Kathy’s words, not just tongue in cheek, but as what they actually say, doing what is right is not enough. My heart also needs to be in the right place.

The Gospel Lesson assigned in many Christian Churches for this coming Sunday is from Mark 7:1-13 Jesus seeks to teach this lesson about loving God with one’s heart to the religious leaders of the day. When these leaders criticize Jesus, he quotes Isaiah, and says, beginning in verse 6. “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: “’These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. 7 They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.’ As God, Jesus is concerned, not just about outward actions of faith or religion. Jesus is also concerned for the heart of His people.

These religious leaders were trying their best to serve God with their actions. But, even when their actions were right, their hearts were often self-serving, grumbling, rebellious, and sinful. Actually, their actions were not always perfect either. Their outward keeping of the law got in the way of serving God with their hearts. Jesus’ teaching to the religious leader, like Kathy’s words to me, are nothing new. In Deuteronomy 6, God teaches, 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. God tells the people, not just to serve Him, but to love him with all their heart, soul, and strength. They are to love Him with their whole being!

God teaches us the same lesson. Our Lord doesn’t just want us to say the right thing. He doesn’t just want us to do the right thing. He wants our heart to know Him as our Creator, as our Father, and as our Savior. God want us to serve and love Him with all our hearts, with all our being. But, if the hearts of the religious leaders of Jesus’ day were far from Him, how about us?

This week Kathy and I celebrate our 44th anniversary. We were married in Memphis, TN, at 3:00 p.m. on August 20, 1977. I can tell you that Kathy is a greater blessing than I ever expected. But, no marriage is perfect, because no individual person is without sin. In fact, many stay away from marriage all together because of the struggles they have seen other have.

When people see the struggles of God’s people, they can and do shy away from a relation of the heart with God. Sometimes those who don’t know God see those who say they know God claim to have all the answers. Sometimes, God’s people can be legalistic and come across as arrogant and self-righteous, like the religious leaders of Jesus’ day. However, such religion is dangerous. Such behavior denies our own weakness and failure, and trusts our own actions. Trusting self rather than God is a problem. In trusting our own actions we reject the love of God. Then, we do not love God with our heart, we love ourselves.

Jesus knew the hearts of the religious leaders of His day, and their failures. Ultimately, that is why Jesus came to this earth because people were weak, and selfish, and resentful, and sinful. Jesus knew their hearts and He came to earth in spite of their hardness. He came to save them. When someone knows our weaknesses and failings and still reaches out in love, that changes hearts.

God knows our rebellion, and He sent His son. Jesus knows our sin, and died to pay for that sin. God knows our failure, and He calls us to trust Jesus dying, and to receive His forgiveness. Our Lord knows the darkness of our hearts, but He offers eternal life, by grace, through faith in Jesus. When we deserve God’s punishment, but He gives us grace, and mercy, and life, doesn’t that change your heart and make you want to love Him with all that you are? You see, God’s undeserved love changes hearts from pride to thanks and love.

When a husband is young he might think he has something to offer his new bride. Maybe I felt that way. But, as I have grown older I have become exceedingly thankful for the faithful, undeserved love of my wife, Kathy. Love changes hearts. Doesn’t God’s undeserved, sacrificial love for you, in Jesus, change your heart? Doesn’t God’s undeserved love change your heart so that you want to serve and obey Him, not only in outward actions, but with a heart and life full of love for Him?