Approaching the infinite

I have played the violin for many years. As a musician, one refines and improves, approaching perfection but rarely achieving it. I think of it as approaching the infinite. A well-trained musician hears the discord, however slight it may be and works to get closer and closer to perfection.

For example, in the many hours I have spent practicing as a violinist, I approach perfection with each note, every phrase, and every single bow stroke. It’s meticulous, private and engaging.

In a similar way, our quest to be better people is a quest to approach the infinite, or perfection. We will obviously never be perfect, but the quest is invigorating. This new year, think about who you want to be at the end of the year. What attributes of Jesus would you like to grow? What would that look like? Rather than a to-do list, consider having a vision of yourself being a little more of who you want to become.

I have found that family life provides us with unlimited opportunities to refine the smallest details of our character. The frequency, intensity and closeness of family interactions peel back our polished public persona and reveal the depths of our intricate and imperfect souls. In family life, we live at the core of our character. Sometimes emotions are raw, but daily we have the opportunity to approach perfection in thousands of ways no one but ourselves, God, and those close to us could ever notice.

In my family, I found that I needed to improve my response to conflict. Early on, while I was recording a video of a child’s birthday, a tired family member spoke with irritation. I didn’t want that recorded forever so I stopped the recording. When I reviewed the tape, I found I hadn’t stopped recording soon enough. Not only did I catch the family member’s irritated comment, but I had also recorded my own irritated reply. I was shocked (and blessed) to hear myself. I didn’t realize I had sounded irritated.

As I contemplated how to always respond with kindness to my family, I have observed that our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do not use coercion to guide or correct us. They use love. Consider this: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son” (John 3:16). If love is the motivating power Jesus Christ and God used to save humankind, love can be the motivating power in our families too. Love, I decided, should be my greatest parenting power.

Always responding out of love is a difficult attribute to master. In my personal quest to “approach the infinite,” did I always succeed? No. But did I improve? I absolutely did.

Several years later, I found my kids arguing in the car as they waited for me after church. I always find arguing frustrating, but I dealt with their issues and we headed home. At home I realized one of my kids had been tape recording the episode. I took the recorder and privately listened to my unguarded response—how did I handle that? Was I kind or irritated? I was happy to hear that I was calm and kind. I was improving.

Who do you want to become this year? How will you feel, look and interact? As you envision yourself becoming a little better, consider these principles shared by Henry J. Eyring, president of BYU-Idaho in his 2019 address to the students:

“Appreciate opposition: notwithstanding our best efforts and heaven’s support, opposition will be our lifelong lot. Opposition is designed into every aspect of mortality. Without it we cannot grow physically, intellectually or spiritually.”

“Choose to see miracles: Take credit for what you have learned as you acted, and not necessarily the way things turned out…. Give yourself credit for acts of kindness and moments of courage. And look for the subtle charms of daily events.”

Even though perfection is not attainable in our human state, improvement is. What could be more invigorating than continuing your own quest to approach the infinite?

Beth Wright has worked, played and raised her family in the Mat-Su Valley since 1991. Right now she loves the snow, the sunrise, and the wonderful people who have graced hers and her family’s lives in this beautiful place. She anchors herself to Jesus Christ through her membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.