Balancing the 3-legged stool

Parent-teacher conferences mean many things to many people.

For parents, it can often mean taking time off from work, trying to be at two schools at the same time, and sometimes having a tough conversation with a student or teacher.

For teachers, conferences mean long days, evenings away from families, and a large amount of preparation.

For students, it seems to vary from an opportunity for affirmation to stomach churning apprehension.

I write this not to raise stress or vent, but to remind us all that it is totally and completely worth it. That this is one of the best ways we can spend our time.

Hard work or not, the hours I spend as a teacher preparing for parent/teacher conferences rarely feels like time wasted. The conversations I have with parents and students are enlightening and empowering. The relationships that are established, re-established, or cultivated by conferences carry our kids through the challenges of growing up.

It is in meetings such as these that our teachers, parents, and community come together. These meetings provide us an opportunity to show students how much we care and that they are supported, to show them that they sit upon a stool, a stable stool, built heartily, with three rigid legs of support. Our students are incredibly fortunate to sit atop a strong network of support, created and refined by their families, teachers, and community. One of the most interesting observations I’ve made in my career is that students are acutely (though often subconsciously) aware of the network of support that surrounds them.

They may not be able to put it to words all the time, however, if one of the three legs is missing or damaged, students make it heard. Any parents out there ever heard the words, “Mr./Mrs. Teacher just doesn’t like me?” Students know when something is missing, a shaky relationship with a teacher or parent has immediate impact on their school performance and emotional wellbeing.

Community is the same way. In schools every day we battle the feeling of isolation that is often a part of growing up. Schools work very hard to make students feel welcome, safe, and part of the community. I’m sure many of use don’t have to work hard to remember how lonely it could feel when we were growing up.

Students may not always be able to verbalize what is missing, but without a doubt, they know when a leg has been removed. That is why, despite the extra work, the days away from jobs, and the crazy schedule, opportunities such as parent/teacher conferences are so important. These meetings provide us a chance to meet as family, teacher, community member, and student.

We meet as a team. We meet to show our students that we are here for them, that we will cheer with them when appropriate and hold them accountable when necessary. That they are not alone.

I am proud to be a teacher in Mat-Su schools and to work with our youth. I am proud to work with our families and community to provide a network of support for students.

Jeffrey D. Blackburn is the program coordinator for math and technology at Mat-Su Central School.