Be kind and remember this season

My New Year’s resolution is to be kind; to remember everyone I meet is fighting a battle. And, I know some of those battles are more difficult than others. What I did not realize for a long time was, even though I may have experienced a similar battle, we all bring our own personal life story into that battle. We may have shared the same battle, but it is very personal to each of us. So, actually, the statement, “I understand,” comes up short, and I can only be present with them during their time of trouble.

Yet, that realization does not stop me from wanting to ease the struggle another is experiencing. I still want to jump in there and fix it. I am reminded of the conversation I had with my daughter while she was in high school. She was sharing with me a litany of issues she was dealing with at school. I quickly responded with a strategy of making a list, (I am great at making lists) prioritizing that list, and knocking them out in order. Then, I added, “And if something does not get done, it must not have been important. Well, that last caveat produced a stare that could have melted polar ice caps. Then came the come back, “ What do you mean, not to do everything, and do some half measure, (not exactly her words) or some not at all!? I realized, I was not asked to solve the problem, but to listen. From that point on, I always asked, “Do you want me to propose a possible solution, or just listen?” And most of the time the answer was, “Just listen.”

Now, this past week, I received a phone call from friends that were dealing with a family member drinking. They did not want me to just listen. They wanted to know what to do. I made some suggestions. The most important suggestion was AA meetings. Yet, even if they had the desire for their family member to stop drinking, it had to be the family member’s desire. Bottom line. This time, I had the fix. Just do this. Trust God, clean house, and carry the message of recovery. But, that’s only if they want it. How heartbreaking it is for families, and friends to watch this cunning, baffling, powerful disease that takes loved ones away.

It is the same distressing, hopeless feeling with homeless kids and adults that don’t come in from the cold, the deadly cold. They, for some reason, would rather take their chances with the elements than come in house, may that be Covenant House, or Brother Francis Shelter. Anchorage has had a number of deaths in the homeless population this year.

But, what about those who live out there, in the cold, in our Valley, who want to come into a shelter, church, or a school? Unfortunately, they do not have that choice. They can live in an abandoned house, camper, baseball dugout, or if they are lucky, couch surf. And that very well may come with a price, especially if you’re a female. That life style of homelessness can be a dead end road, with stealing, and wheeling and dealing drugs. They can become an easy target for prostitution, or end up in the emergency room due to overdosing, and sometimes death.

Least, I forget to be kind, remember homeless kids are in a difficult battle. They leave home for many reasons. And the reasons do not matter, until they are safe. But, our community does not have that safe place.

If you are interested in more than just remembering homeless kids, and would like to be part of the fix, there will be two meetings during the month of January. The first will be at Burchell High School, (call 373-7775) Jan. 6, at 11:30 a.m. It is the Task Force for Unaccompanied Youth. The second, is the Coalition for Housing and Homelessness at Mat-Su Covenant Church (across from Brentwood Post Office) Jan. 20, at 9:30 a.m.

Be kind, everyone is hurting because we are alive, but some more than others.

Michael Paul Carson is a member of the Mat-Su Coalition for Housing and Homelessness.