Best results come from consensus building, not demonization

Spectrum, by Mike Chmielewski

Over the past 12 years I have journeyed to the city south of the Valley and confronted demons. In appearance these demons were ordinary looking people of different sizes, shapes and personalities. But to me they were demons nonetheless. I practice Aikido, a soft martial art. Each time I train at the Akido dojo my focus is split, simultaneously being aware of my own physical and emotional state, as well as observing my training partner's presence. The goal is simple to say: align with the other, see what he or she sees, then act with care to attain a mutually beneficial result. This goal has sometimes proven elusive even in the simplified dojo setting.

Are my partners really demons? No. Their appearance as demons comes from my own view of those partners through the residue of past encounter and personal history. In this experience I suspect I'm not alone, whether on the dojo mat or off. We often have trouble seeing what others see. And when we mistake our idea about what others see for their actual view we sink comfortably into "we're right and they're wrong." We believe we know it all.

These shadow demons seem also to inhabit the Valley. The handling of two ongoing controversial topics provides evidence: coal-bed methane development and school district contract negotiations. Each is discussed in two forums, public meeting and media display. Having been present at the forums and reviewed the media, I notice many statements are monologues. Speakers express anxiety, concern, ask for relief, or sometimes throw in a specific question and pass the baton to another. However accurate the depiction of the need for relief, dialogue is missing -- that elusive aligning with another so as to work together for mutual benefit. The tendency is to attack individuals who appear to be the cause of the problem. Fear freezes our response.

I believe it is possible to shift this typical experience. Here are some suggestions.

First, deal with an attack. That doesn't mean necessarily attacking the other. It may mean simply getting out of the way. Realize that we have to survive the moment, but whatever we consider to be most important today will be replaced with another version of the issue tomorrow. Contract negotiations will happen again with different concerns. Another form of development will be proposed. Let's by all means put our focus and energy on today's issues. Let us also be mindful of the legacy our efforts will produce. We can be attacked and return the attack or we can work differently.

Second, pay attention to the other. Some forums mainly provide for position statements from opposing groups. Without a process for dialogue and consensus building those forums may merely air grievances. Ultimately they will not be the place where long-lasting solutions are worked out. Different forums at assembly, legislative and negotiation meetings must have a consensus process for good solutions to emerge. It is rare the other does not have something worth considering. We may even be more like that other than we realize.

Third, stay connected. Winning with secret meetings or sound bite attacks provides a false sense of accomplishment in political campaigns, legislative halls or negotiations. Individuals can do stupid, even criminal things. Those same people can do good things. We can see the difference. Thoughtful citizens can generally agree which solutions balance needs and which are temporary wins by one party.

I continue to train at the dojo. My partners say I've become more aware. Perhaps I see them and myself a little more clearly. Our personal demons don't die easily. But we can help one another to confront them. I continue to work for consensus. That's what community is all about.

Mike Chmielewski is school board president.