Beware the nest of elephants, and rats in the Valley

Mat-Su Mouth

MYSTERIOUS LIGHT -- It was several months ago but there was a weird blinking light near the mine over Hatcher Pass Lodge. A local MOUTHKETEER reports that people were mystified.

Was it aliens? Someone in trouble? Hidden treasure? Airplane crash? Emergency message? Secret code? Mountain fairies?

People were curious. After more than one attempt, it was discovered that the blinking light was really flashes of reflected light on an urn, belonging to a 90-year-old woman. The MOUTH likes to think that the woman sparkled and winked at us all. May she rest in peace.

LOCAL NEST OF ELEPHANTS -- Be careful out there. At a recent port commission meeting, a nest of elephants was referenced.

After a bit of investigation, the elephant nest is really the Elmendorf Elephant Grid -- which is a navigation array of towers. The MOUTH understands they're friendly.

RAT AT MEA? -- It's true. Cabbagelina attended the MEA annual meeting. And Cabbagelina is a very attractive six-inch rat, owned by a 14-year-old co-op member.

TURKEYS AT MEA? -- The MOUTH isn't sure. But there were flocks of delicious turkey drumsticks, hot doggies and tasty little pies.

At the MEA annual meeting Saturday, members collected handy litter bags, patriotic pencils, pins, flag, flower seeds and lots of slick literature. It was difficult to avoid the gauntlet of wannabee politicians, but if one was careful, it was possible. There was some handy tree information that was informative and wasn't glossy.

High drama reigned when a few rude jabs were offered, but most of the time manners were kept in check. Some excellent scholarships were awarded and some nice prizes. The speaker wasn't bad to look at and he didn't dodge the military issues.

A curious invocation explained that grandstanding and rebellion are the work of Satan. (The MOUTH notes that we can credit the brave rebellion of our founding fathers to establish a country known for freedom of speech and freedom of religion. And those pesky American revolutionaries were also some darn good rebels.)

BIRD GOSSIP -- Four adult golden eagles were seen flying over the Glenn Highway hawkwatch one week ago. The two lead birds carried a banner between them that stretched from horizon to horizon.

The sign read, "Welcome to the 2002 Spring Raptor Flight." It was quite a sight, too bad you missed it.

HAPPY PI DAY TO YOU -- March 14 was 3-14, or Pi Day celebration at Palmer High School. It was a rare assembly full of mathematical moments. The "Pi anthem," sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree," "Oh number pi, oh number pi, your digits are unending."

There was the first public performance of the Palmer High Math Rappers, along with the Mathematical Shop Quartet, Rapper Quadratic Kenley and fiddler Bobby Bowlin. Math teacher Bob Williams wore his white sneakers and striped suit as he offered a joyful and positive mathematical attitude at Palmer High.

Packets (3.14 ounce) of M&M's were eaten in honor of Pi day and Einstein's birthday.

THE MOUTH WONDERS:

Is it true that a bright Hawaiian shirt translates into a Wasilla basketball star?

Is it true that the Palmer dugout blew away in the last windstorm?

Is it true that the cost of one Glacier View student is $20,000?

Is it true that EMS answers more than 4,100 calls annually?

Is it true that volunteers are in short supply when the economy is flourishing?

Is it true that a citizen ate packets of creamer at one of the borough's open houses, because no doughnuts were offered?

Is it true that "Book 'em Dano" has a whole new meaning with handsome new Trooper Dan?

Barbara Hunt is a local writer and listener. The Mat Su MOUTH is in its sixth year and is printed twice a month, more or less, depending on the Valley buzz. The MOUTH may be reached at e-mail address bhunt@alaska.net. MOUTH contributions and submittals may be dropped off, mailed, or faxed to the MOUTH c/o the Frontiersman. Good taste is required and confidentiality will be respected.