Blotter

Butthead

The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reports that on March 7, a Fairbanks resident head-butted a Walmart loss prevention officer. The guy got caught taking a couple of hair clippers from a shelf and exchanged them for a gift card. Apparently not willing to be taken so easily after getting caught, the guy tried to run from the loss prevention office at which time the alleged head-butting took place.

Poser

A resident of Kent, Washington was issued a citation by Wildlife Troopers in Juneau on March 17. The man cited made a false statement on his sport hunting and fishing license by saying he was a resident of Alaska. He was also given a citation for illegally possessing a Dall Sheep while lying about his residency. We’re assuming he killed the animal and wasn’t just keeping it as a pet. Troopers took the contraband animal remains. The wannabe Alaskan will probably think twice about where he comes from now.

Let them eat Kake

Troopers received a report about a burglary in Kake on March 19. The Kake Tribal Liquor Store was robbed after someone broke in through the back door. The two robbers took close to $1,000 dollars worth of booze. Troopers say $600 dollars in damage was made to the property, but the suspects were identified. The investigation continues, but shouldn’t be too hard. Just look for the two drunkest people in town and start from there.

GTA VI: Wasilla

Someone’s been playing too much Grand Theft Auto. On March 20, Troopers got a call about a guy threatening people with a firearm in Wasilla. Troopers responded to the residence where the incident was taking place and saw the dude hauling ass out of there in what turned out to be a stolen car. After a failed traffic stop, Troopers continued after the guy who was driving as fast as 104 mph. After about 25 miles, Troopers disabled the speed demon with spike strips along the Palmer-Wasilla Highway. It turns out that before the chase, the guy had forced his way into the residence where the whole thing started. The homeowner got a gun, but the guy managed to get ahold of the firearm and threatened the two occupants of the residence with it. Probably realizing that he was getting in way too deep, the guy bailed out of the house and eventually led police on the high-speed chase. He was arrested and law enforcement charged him with crimes including assault, eluding and theft. He’s now being held without bail.

Officer Blazer for the win

For the second time on March 20, Troopers were involved in a pursuit of a stolen vehicle in Wasilla. Later in the day after their high-speed chase mentioned above, Troopers attempted to conduct a traffic stop on the stolen vehicle, but the driver decided he’d take his chances with evading law enforcement. After a short chase through a Home Depot parking lot, the driver drove through a nearby field and bailed out of the car. After another short chase, this time on foot through the woods, Troopers brought out the big guns. And by big guns, we mean big dog. Trooper K9 Blazer managed to get ahold of the fleeing suspect, but not without doing a little damage. The guy was hurt during the dog’s not-so-gentle apprehension technique. The guy was taken to Mat-Su Regional Medical Center to be treated for his injury. After the medical staff gave him the all clear, the guy was arrested and charged with vehicle theft and eluding. The car and the resident were from Anchorage. The car made it back to it’s owner. The guy, who had some warrants out for his arrest already, went to jail.