Bringing God’s light into your family

I recently saw Amber Eldredge’s painting “Home” depicting a small home, surrounded by dark, threatening clouds. Inside the home were sunshine, tulips, and a happy family. Family members were holding up the walls of the home against the oppressive dark storm outside. The sunshine inside the home, of course, was the light of Jesus Christ, and the painting reflected the joy and love available to us as families when we follow the teachings of Jesus.

Do you remember the old saying, “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence?” Many years ago, I heard a more correct version of that saying: “The grass is greener…where you water it!” The grass is greenest where you put your effort and attention. What grass do you water? Your own home and family can be the greenest grass around if you live intentionally.

You might think love is the primary characteristic of a happy family life. And it is, but you have to focus on the components of love, rather than just the “feeling” of love. Paul lined them out in 1 Cor 13: (NIV): “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” gave good advice for building happy families in 1995 and is still relevant today: “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

When I had my first baby, I was impressed at the connection between faith, sacrifice and love. A few weeks past the joyful news that we were pregnant came the never-ending nausea. I will always love my mother-in-law for quietly cleaning up her car floormats after I threw up on them while drinking grape juice.

During pregnancy, you spend nearly a year in a state of physical sacrifice. Making that sacrifice is an act of faith. After your baby is born, you spend your weeks in sleepless nights, waking up often to make sure your baby is still breathing or because your baby is crying. As you hold, rock, feed, change, bathe and care for your baby’s every need--even when you are tired, exhausted, or bored--you grow into love.

I found that when I brought home my fourth baby, I loved all of my children at a profoundly deeper level. Sacrificing one’s self for another is not popular today, but it is an essential foundation of love in family life. It is water for the green grass of your family life.

Another important component of happiness in family life is integrity. Trust and trustworthiness are foundational for love to flourish. The teachings of Jesus Christ are underscored by trust: Thou shalt not lie, cheat, covet, steal, or be unfaithful to your spouse. Knowing that each family member is committed and willing to sacrifice for the good of the family is like continuous water for your grass. Your family life can flourish. Family members can find love and satisfaction even amid the heartaches common in life. When you feel let down or betrayed by family or parents, God’s love and the support of friends and family can light your path forward.

The companion characteristics of kindness, patience, long-suffering and persuasion bring an environment where love can flourish. (See Doctrine and Covenants 121:41.) Patience keeps a spirit of peace rather than a spirit of contention. Long-suffering means that we patiently stay in the game, and never give up on a loved one.

Your family doesn’t have to look a specific way to bless your life, and for you to be a blessing to your family. The lessons we learn in families come as we try to be more like our Savior in our family interactions, however our family is situated.

As a teenager, I remember coming home at night after my babysitting jobs and feeling such joy to come into my parents’ home. My mom would be waiting for me on the couch and would greet me with love. On the mornings of my youth, before we headed off to work and school, my mom and dad and all the kids would kneel at the couch for family prayer. My parents held a weekly “Family Home Evening” where we learned about Jesus and then played games together. We attended church on Sundays and found ways to help others during the week. I don’t ever remember hearing my mom correct a sibling in front of me, yet I remember her correcting me kindly and in private. I believe she did that for all of her children. She taught us with patience, consistency and respect. These actions of faith and patience blessed our family life with a lot of love. And very green grass.

Speaking of her artwork, Eldredge wrote, “It’s the sweetest reminder of how sacred and strong our homes can be when built with walls of hope and beams of faith.” God will light the way for your family to have more love and joy when you invite Him. And your grass? It can be the greenest grass around, if you water it with love.

Beth Wright is an optimist. She loves the peaceful ‘swish” of cross-country skiing in winter, and is a grandmother to 9, soon-to-be 10, beautiful grandchildren. She and her husband Kerry believe in Jesus Christ and enjoy being members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.