Building the inner life and changing the world

I suspect I was a hyper-active child. People did not know about medicating children like me. They simply had to live with me. I had lots of energy. It all turned out well. I became a good student and a decent athlete. My energy did not turn me to destructive behavior. My mother was a kind, loving, patient woman. I suspect that she was the one who knew what to do with me. I never remember her raising her voice except in laughter. Physical disciplining was unimaginable.

The part of me that was and is unseen is my time to sit and ponder. This past Mothers’ Day was another occasion to ponder. I never knew my mother as an adult. I knew her only as a child and a teenager. She died in her mid-40s. I did not have the privilege of attending her funeral. At the time of her sudden death, I was serving in the U.S. Army in Korea.

Now as an older person, I do even more pondering. I like the person I have become. I am thankful for the opportunities that have come my way. How did all this come about? I suspect there are three forces that have shaped my life. The first is the genetics that I was given by way of my father and mother. The gene God was very kind to me. I can only look to the heavens and say “thanks you.”

The second falls into the category of ENVIRONMENT. I did not grow up in isolation. My family obviously heads the list of the parts of the environment that surrounded me from day one. I name my mother first because I believe she truly ought to head the list. I came from her womb and obviously we bonded. My father, brothers and sisters follow in quick order. I lived from infancy to departure for college and military service in one house. I knew every room, every corner of our home on Walnut Street. It was the place where family shared and loved one another. In the area I was surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. They all gifted me with love and I look back with great pleasure at every family gathering.

I married and was privileged with three children. A whole new input into my life took place.

The circle broadens. Institutions and people. Churches, ministers, fellow worshipers. Schools, teachers, classmates, coaches, teammates. Colleges, professors, more coaches, teammates and classmates. Graduate school, more professors, and more life-long friends.

A new era came with ordination and responsibilities for leading congregations. I made friends in the communities in which I served. I made special friends of other clergy. I always had close clergy friends in whom I confided and from whom I was a constant recipient of challenges and new insights.

What I have shared is only a part of the story. But to sum up, I have been the recipient of a multitude of gifts from the family into which I was born, the communities in which I have lived, the nation in which I have lived, the organizations to which I have belonged, and the congregations which I have served. Every person who has ever lived is surrounded with influences. These influences range from excellence to the horrific. We all live contextualized lives.

I have not wanted to give the impression that every influence that impacted my life was positive. In reality, the positive influences on my life far outweighed the negative. I am thankful. However, the point that I want to make is that my life has been shaped by influences that came to me from outside of myself.

The third force is often overlooked and under-appreciated. In a sense the third force is YOU. Out of my Baptist heritage, I have come to believe that people can shape the lives we are given.

Paul gives us the formula in chapter 4 of his letter to the Philippian church. “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Paul had great confidence in what we can do with our minds. There are many passages from Paul about the importance of our thought life. As important as the input is that is made from outside of ourselves, the final chapter of our story is what our minds do with the influences that surround us. When we do good thinking, a byproduct is that we internalized the values and commitments about which we think. Some things we think about can be and ought to be discarded. Sorting is an important part of the thinking game. We need to be disciplined in our thought life. Thinking is a dangerous tool. What we think, we become.

My wife, Darlene, is familiar with my life patterns. She watches me sitting in my favorite easy chair, looking off into space with a blank look in my eyes. She understands what I am doing. I am pondering. Out of my ponderings positive things happen. I invite my readers to sit down, relax and ponder. Together we can reshape and make the new communities which we need. Possibly he new world we need. It begins with our minds and a lot of pondering.

The Rev. Howard Bess is a retired American Baptist minister, who lives in Palmer, Alaska. His email address is hdbss@mtaonline.net.