Capturing Kids’ Hearts

A new school year signals new students, a new start, and professional development.

This year many Matanuska-Susitna School District teachers participated in a training focusing on relationship building. A trainer from Capturing Kids’ Hearts, a program created by the Flip Flippen group, spent three days modeling the strategies necessary to capture a kid’s heart.

The focus of this initiative is that kids will be more engaged in content if teachers build genuine, caring relationships with them. The strategies are meant to elevate kids to a more active role in the classroom. For example, students develop a social contract of behaviors that guide all members of the room, including the teacher.

Another strategy suggests taking time each day to allow kids to share ‘good things’ going on in their lives. These simple activities give kids voice and allow teachers to learn about their students’ lives, ultimately creating an environment of empowerment and trust.

Halfway through the training, though, I began to wonder about the teachers that don’t connect with kids. It’s no secret that some teachers don’t work for or with kids. They might be excellent conveyers of information, but kids don’t like their class. They lack some element that allows them to really connect with kids.

Can a teacher be taught to connect with kids? Can the strategies we learned really take the “so-so” teacher and make them dynamic? Can we be taught how to form relationships?

I’m a reflective teacher. I can tell you why I teach what I teach and explain the “how” behind each lesson or instructional strategy. I can justify everything I do in the classroom.

But, when it comes to explaining how I form supportive, long-lasting relationships with kids, I pause. I can list words we value in a classroom: respect, care, patience, understanding, etc. All of these traits go into building a relationship with students. The fine art of mixing the ingredients in a way that balances the focus on learning with a focus on the child as a person is truly how a relationship is formed.

I believe kids love structure. I believe kids love to learn. I believe they love school. They may tell you differently, but in their heart, they want to be great. They want to learn, engage in the world, and have a voice that’s heard. We offer them access to these wants. The hook, what pulls them in, is the relationship. If you have it with students, they grow. If you don’t, well, the days are long.

As the training progressed, I watched stoic teachers begin to open up and share their memories and participate with enthusiasm. I noticed the training was working on the staff, bringing us together, healing old wounds, and creating new friendships. I talked to teachers I didn’t know very well. I saw the well-formed friendship groups expand and divide. We were slowing becoming the very thing we hoped to create in our classroom — a community.

The first step toward any systematic change is to have individual change. Opportunities must be offered for all teachers so they can reach their full potential. If we view each student, especially the most troublesome, most difficult, as an opportunity, not a challenge, then shouldn’t we also view teachers the same way? If we want to increase student engagement, eliminate students dropping out, and change the public’s view of public schools, we should stop pointing fingers and reach out.

If we want to build relationships with students, we first need to build relationships with each other. I’m hoping because of this training our buildings are stronger and, consequently, our students’ educational experience is stronger.

Brandy J. Bishop teaches 9th, 10th, and 12th grade English at Colony High School