Cash cows, Nativity scenes spotted around Valley

Mat-Su Mouth-Barbara Hunt

REPUBLICAN CASH COW -- Larry DeVilbiss, school board guy and farmer, has a special purebred steer that he named Frank Murkowski.

One half of the cow is named Frank and the other half is Murkowski. This steer's purpose is to "further the cause." Cow ownership is transferring one half at a time -- starting in December 2001 and ending in January 2002.

It is significant that Farmer DeVilbiss hasn't named any of his steers (nor his heifers) Fran.

"WELCOME TO THE LYNCHING … ER … MEETING" -- This was the welcome Rep. Scott Ogan offered hotshot state transportation official Murph O'Brien at a crowded Saturday meeting on Lazy Mountain regarding the nonimprovements of the old Glenn Highway.

Rep. Ogan also explained good naturedly that the state official was "the one with the target painted on his back." O'Brien took it all well and offered up bits and pieces of non-information regarding the highway.

"It's an old and tired road," said the DOT guy. "We're losing the highway as we speak." The 60 citizens agreed, explaining that traffic has tripled and the sad highway hasn't seen new pavement or resurfacing in 47 years. Some say that the reason this highway receives no funding is because it is on the "poor side" of the Valley.

A petition was offered with 731 signatures.

The favored solution seemed to be to dump the problem in the Senate's lap so they will pass the GARVEE Bond funding legislation.

The state guy wondered if some of the highway projects were being paved in gold because of the enormous costs associated with right-of-way acquisition. This costly little project will be easily more than a million a mile.

Initial maintenance upgrades may be just relocating the potholes and praying that the freeze/thaws won't blow the road apart.

The meeting closed with the state guy thanking everyone for a pleasant meeting. Rep. Ogan said such pleasantries could ruin his reputation.

NATIVITY TAKES MANY SHAPES -- It was a wondrous collection at the LDS church in Palmer. Thousands of Nativity characters joined together.

There were the beautifully painted Mary and Joseph and Three Kings. There were the traditional and live Nativity scene. Indians, mice, bears and snowman Nativity scenes were in attendance. There was the "arctic" version, with Eskimos and bear and moose, caribou and fox, clustered around a baby in front of an igloo. In the Native American version, Indians with a wolf and buffalo huddled around little Jesus in front of a teepee and a cactus.

In addition to an interactive and live Nativity scene, there were still-life collections made of wood, crystal, stone, pottery, bark, bead, husk and metal.

There were Nativity scenes from Africa, Hawaii, Israel, Poland and Bavaria.

But the MOUTH's favorite had to be the vegetable Nativity scene.

There was Joseph as a small cucumber. Mary was a tomato. And little Baby Jesus was a pea.

TUCK THE BUTT AND STRUT -- Or so says the eclectic collection of Palmer women at the Caboose Lounge on Friday night. All wore sparkling magic high heel shoes and ribbons. Not bereft of Christmas spirit, they danced and shimmied around the holiday angel deep into the night.

NEW SOLDIERS OF LIGHT --They're standing tall. They're ready. They're on the watch.

They are the new light poles stretching through the dark, across the Palmer Hay Flats along the Glenn Highway.

Like a brightly dotted line, the new legion of lights offer moose and commuters a fighting chance.

BEWARE OF ROSES --Rose Jenne is a Mat-Su Borough planning commissioner. While discussing human and bear confrontations, she explained a recent incident. Apparently some ill-mannered 25-year-olds were provoking a bear.

They were chasing and teasing the bear as sport.

Ms. Jenne said, "Wh, if I had been the bear, I would have eaten them up."

THE MOUTH WONDERS:

Is it true that a strip joint is opening in Talkeetna?

Is it true that the Crevasse Moraine trail trespasses on university land?

Is it true that there are no electric fences around any of the borough's transfer sites?

Is it true that the Hatcher Pass road will be paved across the pass from Willow to Palmer?

Is it true that the port just received another 1.5 million bucks?

Is it true that Osama Bin Laden was seen at the Palmer Colony Christmas Parade?

Barbara Hunt is a local writer and listener. The Mat-Su MOUTH is in its sixth year and is printed twice a month, more or less, depending on the Valley buzz.

The MOUTH may be reached at e-mail address bhunt@alaska.net. MOUTH contributions and submittals may be dropped off, mailed, or faxed to the MOUTH c/o THE FRONTIERSMAN.

Good taste is required and confidentiality will be respected.