changing face of motherhood

May 14, 2006

By JOEL DAVIDSON

Frontiersman

MAT-SU - As Americans shower flowers, cards and gifts on more than 80 million mothers today, they may find that the maternal face of America has changed considerably from a generation ago.

Mothers today are typically older, as more women choose to hold off on motherhood until later in life.

When they do decide to have children, moms have fewer kids and increasingly rely on professional child-care services.

According to a 2005 U.S. Census Bureau report, the average mother is now 25 years old by the time she has her first child. In 1970, first-time moms were just barely past their 21st birthday. The Census Bureau also reports that nearly half of U.S. moms continue with full-time careers by the time their youngest child is 5.

The 1970s represented a major turning point for U.S. moms, when many families decided to become dual-income.

Reasons for the shift vary, but the impact of two working parents led to increased children in child-care services and more participation in preschool programs.

This trend ultimately translated into less time for mothers to spend with their children.

According to a separate Census Bureau report from 2005, more than 60 percent of children younger than 5 were in regular child-care arrangements by 2002, where they spent an average of 32 hours a week.

As modern moms juggle maternal duties, careers and child-care arrangements, they also face changing social structures that have tripled the number of single moms since the 1970s.

In the midst of these changes, mom support groups have cropped up around the nation in an attempt to empower 21st century mothers.

Groups such as the National Association of Mothers' Centers provide support networks across the country where moms share parenting information and mingle with other moms. With 37 centers nationwide, Mothers' Centers aim to give women a support network that was more informal in years past.

&#8220All but gone are the close-knit neighborhoods and nearby extended families of generations past,” states the group's Web site. &#8220Women entering motherhood today are often beset with intense feelings of isolation and uncertainty.”

Locally, several organizations and nonprofit groups provide motherly advice for women in the Mat-Su.

Palmer resident Shelly Titus attends a Mothers of Preschoolers group in Wasilla, where more than 60 moms regularly gather to swap stories, listen to special speakers and enjoy recreational

outings.

The faith-based group mixes fitness and nutrition advice with practical solutions for how to potty train and discipline children.

Titus said the group is important in a world where motherhood is beset by many competing demands.

&#8220A lot of the core challenges for moms are the same, but I think there are more now,” she said. &#8220We have a lot more on our schedules these days than moms used to have - there's a lot more busy-ness.”

Titus said she's made a conscious decision to be a stay-at-home mom so she could spend more time with her kids.

But staying home isn't easy.

Dee Chasse is president of the Palmer Moms Club, a group offering support for local women. As a full-time mother herself, Chasse has her share of obstacles.

For starters, she has four children younger than 8.

&#8220I'm kind of an oddity now,” she confessed. &#8220It's not the norm for moms to stay at home with their kids.”

Finances are perhaps the biggest hurdle, Chasse said. Her husband works, but they've had to forfeit a lot of extra expenses so she can raise the kids at home.

&#8220We don't go out to movies, we don't eat out, we don't buy new clothes,” she explained. &#8220Those are sacrifices we've chosen to make to raise our kids.”

Chasse said she recognizes her lifestyle isn't possible for everyone, especially for divorced or single moms who are forced to work.

&#8220It's a big challenge to stay at home,” she admitted.

While 21st century motherhood has its hurdles, most moms love their maternal roles.

According to a 2005 study of more than 2,000 moms from across the nation, 81 percent said mothering is the most important thing they do.

The Motherhood Study, conducted by the University of Minnesota and the University of Connecticut, found that 97 percent of women are &#8220very” or &#8220somewhat” satisfied with their overall lives as moms.

At the same time, however, nearly one in five moms said society is not doing a good

job meeting their needs as mothers.

When presented with a list of possible changes to make life better, 86 percent of all moms said they want to spend more time with their kids.

Contact Joel Davidson at 352-2266 or joel.davidson@ frontiersman.com.