Children are living sponges

Recently, while having lunch with a friend, I noticed how she spoke to her small child. If she wanted him to do something, she spoke about how she loves to do that very thing.

I began thinking about bedtime rituals with small children, the never-ending reading of a book. You tuck the child in and then read a story they know by heart. When you reach the end, they always say, “Again!”

This process is repeated multiple times until the parent finally says, “Time for sleep.” Children love to hear stories, and they love their parents.

Imagine my continual surprise when I hear parents and students say, “I hate reading.”

“Good luck, he doesn’t like to read.”

“I’ve never read an entire book.”

I’m surprised because I, personally, can’t imagine a day without reading. Mostly, I’m surprised because I’m sure they were children who begged their parents for one more story or clustered around their kindergarten teacher waiting for him/her to turn the page and reveal a world of talking animals or far-away places.

As a teacher of reading and writing, I’ve spent quite a bit of time reading books about how to inspire the adolescent reader or how to foster a reading environment. In the end, I believe it all comes down to the adults in the child’s life. When I was in middle school I wanted to be a lawyer. Why? Because that’s what my dad wanted me to be, and I loved my dad. I was also a Republican. Why? Because that’s what my parents were. I had no idea what it meant to be a Republican. Our children are continually influenced by what we say or don’t say, what we do or don’t do. They are living sponges.

When that parent tells me that their child doesn’t read or like reading, I can see the child incorporating this image into their being. The child seems, in a way, proud that the parent knows them so well. I have to admit that I think parents connected to their children, know their kids.

This may be true, understanding their strengths and weaknesses. But, what if instead of the negative, a parent said, “She’s a good reader, if she can find the right book.” We all have strengths and weaknesses, but that doesn’t make reading or writing — or even math — any less important and necessary in our daily lives.

The other day I heard myself tell a room full of young, open-minded students that I hate math. I began to wonder where that belief came from. Did my mom tell a math teacher that I struggle with math?

Did I develop that attitude because math is difficult for me? And, what I wonder most, is did my belief that I couldn’t do math stop me from doing math? As I said these words to my wonderful kids, I realized I was only affirming beliefs many of them have about a subject that they find difficult.

In the end, we all want our children to become successful adults. We want them to step into the world ready to take on any and all challenges. In order to do this, they must believe they are readers, writers, mathematicians, historians, scientists, artists and athletes. They will believe they are all of the above, if we tell them. They will believe they are capable of anything, even if it’s hard or doesn’t come easily. Who knows, maybe the curious child still lives inside. Maybe your child really is a reader.

Brandy Bishop teaches seventh-grade language arts at Houston Middle School.