Choosing respect begins at home

Did you know Alaska isn’t a safe place for women and children?

It came as a surprise to Lebron McPhail, a tall, broad-shouldered Valley man with an air of gentleness and authority surrounding him. He’s a husband, father of two daughters and one son and the executive director of instruction for the Mat-Su Borough School District.

Since coming to the district in 1984, he has taught in the classroom, coached football and served as an assistant principal and principal. In the classroom and on the football field, McPhail is a role model for generations of Valley men.

He said he joined the Valley Men Choose Respect campaign at the request of Superintendent Deena Paramo and Alaska Family Services Executive Director Donn Bennice. As part of the campaign, McPhail was asked to contribute an opinion piece to the Frontiersman. The research he read alarmed him as a husband, father and an educator.

“Seeing the numbers painted a frightening picture,” he said. “When I read it, it was shocking for me to see that women aren’t safe here.”

He said he knew Alaska’s rates of child abuse, sexual assault and other forms of domestic violence are well above the national average, but it wasn’t until he took a look at the data that the terrible truth sunk in.

University of Alaska Anchorage Justice Center Director Andre Rosay conducted one of those studies in 2010. The results show “59 percent of women polled confirmed they had experienced physical violence or threats from a partner or sexual violence from someone at some point in their lives,” McPhail wrote in and opinion piece for the “Choose Respect” campaign on page A7 in today’s Frontiersman.

But violence between adult partners also harms the children in the family, he said.

“Classroom teachers are the first people in the school to see the ripple effects of violence in the home,” McPhail said. “Maybe Johnny or Suzie was a jubilant individual, but when domestic violence comes into that child’s life it interferes with their education and development. Our students are resilient and are able to bounce back from adversity.”

He issued a challenge to all adults to model behaviors they want Valley children to adopt.

“We need to honor and treat each other in a respectful manner, no matter the gender,” McPhail said.

While domestic violence is something most people tend to think of in a physical form, he said it can also include sexual, emotional and economic intimidation and control between intimate partners.

“You shouldn’t be abused by words,” McPhail said. “You shouldn’t be abused physically. You can have a conversation. You shouldn’t be physically abusive to a woman no matter what the issue might be.”

When he moved to the Valley, McPhail said there were 5,000 students enrolled in the district. Now there are around 17,500 students. That’s just one of the changes he’s seen in his 28 years living, working and raising his family here.

“We may not know our neighbors now,” he said, highlighting one obvious change from the Valley’s younger, less populated days.

Whether at home, at school or on the bus — everywhere — appropriate behavior boils down to respect, he said. McPhail said the district is seeing positive results from its efforts in school to reduce violence.

“This process begins at home with men modeling appropriate and respectful behavior toward women,” he wrote. “When children see respectful behavior being modeled at home, it translates to positive interactions in their lives.”