Christians have down days too

To the editor:

Ethan Hansen’s’ Religion Views (Valley Sun, Feb. 4) was a bit irritating. His premise is that because of some Psalms that he read that we should all be happy, shiny people. While I agree with him part way, I also disagree with him. I feel that all Christians live complicated lives and that we can ultimately be happy knowing that Christ died for us and that the battle is won, but that life is hard and it’s not because we live in freakish, abundant excess like his slippery sloped antagonist, Howard Hughes. There are seasons for happiness and sorrow and the range of emotions that God gave us as humans to feel.

Several months ago, I was involved in a Christian retreat. Since I was one of the organizers, when my grandmother passed away shortly before the retreat, I stayed with the retreat because I opened my Bible to Matt 8:22 where Christ is giving the Sermon on the Mount and he tells a follower, who had a recent death in the family, to let the dead bury the dead and to follow Him. Traveling to be with my extended family would have broke me financially, but reading that verse made me comfortable in opting to stay. I decided that I would say prayers for her in the mornings and in the evenings, before and after my commitments at the retreat. I talked to my pastor and decided not tell anyone at the retreat about her death because I would be hearing a lot of heavy stories and I didn’t want anyone to worry about what was going on with me.

A few of the other retreat presenters thought a lot like Ethan Hansen, that to be a good Christian, one must always look joyful. While meditating and quietly getting ready for presentations where we were all busy, two days in a row, fellow presenters and fine Christian women ordered me to “Smile!” I politely declined and asked them to leave me alone while I prayed and did my tasks. They, through gritted teeth, glared at me and talked to the other women about how they just thought I should smile. It was not their business what was going on with my face and I was surely not pulling anyone’s mood down by just being quiet, doing my job while not interfering with theirs. I thought of parable to sheep that are made about humankind and wondered if this was an enforced concept on churches.

Another leader at the retreat decided I looked too serious, so when I was swallowing some cold medication at our billeting headquarters, she came up behind me to tickle me. Instead of apologizing when I turned around, giggled, “You looked so serious!” Still another didn’t like that I didn’t seem to enjoy her banal chatter about the weather and kept nudging me to talk and then asked me if I wasn’t a morning person because I was giving her short answers. I always found that in quiet moments I grow closer to Christ. I am serious and quiet, Ethan. Joy is not crowding Jesus from my life.

I stayed on track and didn’t let my irritation with these women get to the presentations. One of the most considerate ladies who I was working with noticed that I seemed a little blue in off moments and texted me, “You sometimes seem down! I am praying 4 U!” Before Mr. Hansen turns everyone into drones and Stepford Wives, he needs to read Ecclesiastes 3:4 that lets us know that there is “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. “

On my personal road to being faithful over the past 20 years, I have often been turned off by Christians. The backbones and organizers of the church seemed like caricatures of Christian leaders, rabid Care Bears who I wondered if they were real. It has taken me this many years to realize that these leaders are as real as anyone.

They have down days, but like I was at the retreat, they seldom showed their down moments to the people they were serving because we are supposed to focus on Christ’s message of joy. Christ’s message of spiritual joy does not eradicate the sorrow that we experience in the physical world. Howard Hughes had a lot of problems and I don’t doubt that many of his problems existed because of his lack of God in his life, but a lot of Christians also have a lot of problems.

As leaders, we must show compassion and empathy and respect for others, and not present a trite fix-it when people are not perky and assume that they don’t have Christ.

Kellie Davis

Wasilla