Community grief compounded by thoughtlessness

His family’s story is featured in two books of student writings published in 2010 and 2012 by Colony Middle School called “With These Hands.” Sandwiched between other tales of growing up, Jeremiah Parret’s story stands out for its unflinching, deeply personal narrative.

Overflow crowds packed Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Wasilla Thursday evening to join with his parents, siblings, friends and current and former teachers in mourning the Wasilla High student, who took his own life Oct. 16.

Hundreds of Valley residents turned out in a show of support that spilled out of the church parking lot, into the Wasilla Middle School parking area and along the side of Bogard Road.

A slideshow shared photos of a boy who seemed to be forever smiling, who his friends said loved everyone and was a natural athlete, a champion for the underdog, and a published author — a point of pride he shares with his sister, Anna.

He is gone from our daily lives, but not from our hearts. Family members, friends and teachers shared memories of this happy soul who used his 6-foot, 1-inch frame to fill his days with fun, they said.

Sadness and funerals go hand in hand. When the mourned is youthful with a bright future, and dead by his own hand, that sadness is amplified. Lacking answers doesn’t help. “Who knows where these feelings come from, or why? Certainly not our Congressman,” Parret’s grandpa said, referring to Rep. Don Young’s controversial comments at a WHS assembly earlier this week. (See story, page A1.)

Why do people kill themselves? We know this is a complex mental health issue. But we don’t know the answer to the question. And maybe no one does.

Jeremiah was loved and will be missed by his family and friends. But his loss was needlessly compounded when Rep. Young used thoughtless words to respond to questions about suicide.

We wish his words had offered hope and healing to our community. Instead his words reduced his family’s tragedy — our tragedy — to a political talking point, batted around the Internet day after day.

Young’s comments about suicide were uncaring and misinformed. But his response when students called him out for bad behavior was worse still: He swore at our children.

Ultimately it was Hunter Hermans, 18, who couldn’t tolerate Young’s conduct any longer and answered back, “That’s false.”

We are all for respect. But there are times in all our lives when we are called to take a stand, to make hard choices, to stick our necks out for what’s right.

When an adult in a position of power and authority disparages your recently deceased friend in front of you. When that adult basically says it’s your fault — the people who loved him most — that he took his own life, you are called to stand. You are called to speak.

In this case, Hermans offered his voice in the place of a friend who could no longer defend himself. We give Hermans our highest praise for honoring his friend’s memory by doing exactly what Jeremiah would have done — defended the underdog.

Rep. Young clearly has his own views about the causes of suicide. In the midst of the media firestorm that followed, Young issued a press statement that attempts to extinguish the conflagration his behavior ignited. But what’s missing from his statement is a real apology.

We offer ours in his stead.

To those who knew and loved Jeremiah best, we offer our sympathies for your loss. And we hope Rep. Young’s breach of proper conduct can offer a learning experience to a mourning community and a path forward to greater understanding of a profoundly sad issue.