Congratulations on a job well done

I’ve known for a long time this day was coming and as it drew closer I kept waiting for the “Oh, my God!” moment that was sure to come. But with my hectic schedule and constantly on the go-go-go, I guess I just didn’t have time to metabolize it — until tonight.

Rewind time several years to when I had met a smart, happy and very beautiful woman, who like me, had been previously married. And who also had three young boys. Holy moly. If we were going to proceed with our relationship and get married, I was going to be a step-dad.

The idea scared the heck out of me, and for good reason; I had a step-dad of my own growing up and to say he was unpleasant would be a severe understatement. I guess I had it in my head that being a step-dad would somehow make me a “bad guy.”

I forced myself to calm down, be rational and decide to learn the lessons of how not to be a step-dad from my own experience. I would treat these boys as if they were my own children. It was going to be an all-or-nothing deal. I wasn’t just marrying Glenny, I was marrying her children too and the commitment had to be just as strong and my devotion to them just as real for them as for her. It’s a great thought, but would it be reality? Was it really possible?

Glenny’s oldest son was Austin Jose (AJ). Although the oldest, he was still a little guy, only in third grade. I distinctly recall those first few days with him. He was so quiet and so serious. Whenever I tried to strike up a conversation with him, I was met with quiet, short answers. “Yes,” “No,” and little else.

He was interested in soccer, so I took him outside to my big front yard and asked him to show me how to pass a soccer ball. We kicked it back and forth for a while but it was still pretty quiet. So I tried another tactic, humor. We Comptons have always been big into laughing, humor, practical jokes and pranks. I cracked jokes. Nothing. I tried every funny movie I thought a little kid would like. Nothing. AJ just looked at it, looked at me with that “I don’t get it” expression on his face. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I mentioned the idea of going to Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium in Tacoma, Wash. one day. We only lived 30 miles or so away. Glenny said her kids had never been to a zoo. I just couldn’t believe it. But this would be an opportunity for me to take them someplace new and fun!

But on the day of the zoo trip, AJ asked if he could stay home instead. Later, I planned on taking him to the drag races. Every boy loves fast cars, right? Nope. Again, AJ asked if he could stay home. When I excitedly told AJ that we were going to load up the truck with sleds and drive 500 miles into the mountains of Idaho to go play in the snow, I thought he would be thrilled and jump up and down with excitement. Instead, he started to cry. He was scared to drive that far.

I started to grasp the true reality of the situation. Glenny had told me that they had thus far been raised very sheltered and most weekends were spent indoors. Growing up a Navy brat who had seen the world, it drove Glenny nuts. She wanted her kids to get out and see things.

During those first few years of our marriage I drove my family up and down the Oregon Coast, made several trips to Idaho, drove the full-length of the West Coast from Washington to San Diego, made a side-trip to Yuma, Ariz., and camped all over Washington state.

One summer before we moved back, I even loaded them up in the van and made a summer trip to Alaska. Sometimes I got lost up in the mountains and was looking through U.S. Forest Service maps to get myself re-oriented. I remember once when this happened and AJ started to cry. Seems he was scared that we were lost and had all kinds of scary ideas on what that could mean.

Now, I’ve never considered myself the preaching type but I quietly pulled him aside and began to talk to him about the consequences of living in fear. Don’t know how or why but it must have been one of my absolute best speeches ever because something very powerful clicked on in that little boy. Almost overnight he became AJ the explorer. Running ahead on trails, jumping on rocks and suddenly jazzed about the world and everything in it. Years later, he still remembers that speech.

And something else began to change in him as well. He started smiling more, laughing more. As time went on I’ll be darned if his sense of humor didn’t start to seem awfully familiar. Sometimes that little boy had me cracking up with the things he would come up with. And I was especially happy to see that his younger brothers, who looked up to AJ, begin to follow suit. Almost overnight AJ was growing some pretty serious confidence and I loved it.

So a few hours ago I watched AJ graduate high school. I saw him laughing, talking, joking and generally enjoying life and all it has to offer. He is popular with his teachers, well liked by his classmates and we receive nothing but praise from other parents who know him. Heck, even his girlfriend’s parents like him (Amazes me. Many years from now when my daughter introduces me to her boyfriend, I can’t see myself being quite so charitable.)

AJ competed strongly in wrestling, cross-country and track throughout high school. And in a few months he’ll begin college.

The quiet, serious, bored-looking little boy is a happy, talkative, joking, athletic, well-mannered young man with a dynamite work ethic. I have no doubt he’ll do well in life. I see him as a hard worker, fine man and someday…a good husband and a great father. (If you’re reading this AJ, that last part doesn’t happen for a few more years, please!) So while he joined his classmates in congratulating himself on a job well done, forgive me if I stood back and silently patted myself on the back a bit, too.

Ben Compton is a Palmer resident and publishes his column as “Compton’s Corner,” the same title used by his grandmother, Phyllis Compton, a longtime Frontiersman columnist.