Crocodile Wars

Once upon a time there were two cousins: Amellia and Tristan. They were only two months apart in age, with Amellia being older. When they were about three years old, they would either be in conflict with each other, or compatriots in doing things which got them into trouble.

One day they were playing quietly in the bedroom. Suddenly there was crying and angry shouting. Both came running to the adults claiming that he bit her, or she bit him, indeed, there were teeth marks on both their arms, each hoping for a resolution in their favor. It seemed they were pretending to be crocodiles. One would defend the top bunk from the invading crocodile on the ladder, nipping at each other. They would switch roles. Twenty years later, we still don’t know who the first culprit was, but the nipping intensified into actual bites and temper flared. Playing “Crocodiles” can be painful. Each player had his or her own perspective on how it all started, and it took a neutral third party (the adults in the room) to help resolve the conflict in a way which promoted peace.

A few years before the Crocodile Wars, two of the warring parties’ uncles—my sons—were in high school. I arrived one day to find a group of students, including my two boys, in what looked to be a brewing fight. Walking up, I realized that each son was trying to keep the peace among his own friends on the opposing sides. At home, these two were often argumentative with each other, but this time they were trying to defuse a conflict. They were being the adults in the room, so I walked on by without interfering in their diplomatic negotiations, and peace prevailed.

Life isn’t always that simple. In the aftermath of 9/11, fear motivated some people to verbally and physically abuse others who were innocent. Some of my children were away from home at college. We had conversations about being aware of others who may be in danger on their campus. What they said was something like, “Don’t worry, Mom, we know what to do.” I had seen them stand up more than once already in their young lives. I knew they would at least try to influence others for good.

We cannot stop wars in other nations, or conflicts within our own nation unless we are first committed to being peacemakers in our own sphere of direct influence. Singer Michael Jackson explored this concept in his song Man in the Mirror, “I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways; And no message could've been any clearer, If they wanna make the world a better place, Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”

Another song by a group called Ocean had a strong influence upon me as a teenager. It reminds us to “Put your hand in the hand of the Man who stilled the water; Put your hand in the hand of the Man who calmed the sea; Take a look at yourself, and you can look at others diff'rently, Put your hand in the hand of the Man from Galilee.” Ultimately, Jesus Christ is “the adult in the room” for all the conflicts which affect us personally, as well as globally. As Christians, we should continually remember his words in Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” and strive to become peace influencers however we can: in personal lives, in our communities, and through our political representatives.

President Russell M. Nelson counseled, “Let us as a people become a true light on the hill—a light that ‘cannot be hid.’ Let us show that there is a peaceful, respectful way to resolve complex issues and an enlightened way to work out disagreements. As you demonstrate the charity that true followers of Jesus Christ manifest, the Lord will magnify your efforts beyond your loftiest imagination.”

Lessons learned: If you are pretending to be a crocodile, don’t bite harder than you would want to be bitten. Better yet, don’t bite at all. Try practicing the Golden Rule in reverse, don’t do unto others what you don’t want to experience yourself.

If you see a fight brewing among your family or friends, seek the truth of the matter and do your best to help them see a solution to their conflict that doesn’t involve violence or hatred.

If you see an injustice happening, stand up against it in a peaceful and logical manner. If necessary, put yourself in the breach to protect the innocent. Sometimes injustice happens because people are uninformed about the facts. Often, all it takes is one person to speak up and it is amazing how many people will respond positively.

Strive to live peaceably with all Mankind, whenever possible. This is my faith, and I’m sticking with it.

Karen Murray is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints experiencing life as a wife, mother, family historian, author, and political activist.