Crumbling families turn to nonprofit organizations

JOELDAVIDSON/Frontiersman reporter

MAT-SU -- For the last 50 years, families have had a harder and harder time staying together, and those that do spend less time together. The factors are many and often complicated, but the effects are real and rarely without negative consequences.

Parents work long hours and most children spent at least eight hours a day at school, away from home. After school, kids often attend special events, activities and sports. Television, computer games, X-Box, Game Boy, iPods and DVD have all come to define much of modern home life. When added up, families today face a challenge that is difficult to overcome -- little communication and loss of quality family time.

"As busy families, we don't talk anymore," said Daniel Meyer, a prevention specialist at Mat-Su Recovery Center. "Mom and Dad are coming and going; kids are coming and going. The problems usually boil down to communication."

When problems grow bad enough, some Valley families turn to the Strengthening Family Program for solutions.

SFP is a family-skills training program designed to improve communication, parenting skills and family relationships. The focus is to change family dynamics by encouraging families to hold meetings, talk together and plan group activities. Meyer said these qualities create a sense of family identity. Traditions, open communication and time spent with one another create situations in which people feel a part of something deeply defining.

"The family table is fading away," Meyers said. "It's not like it used to be. Parents spend more time at work and there is a lot of neglect. It may be unintentional but kids are raising themselves and no one is talking, so no one knows what's wrong."

In his experience, Meyers said today's families deal with the same issues as in the past -- they are just more magnified. The SFP attempts to address these problems with weekly classes, free to the public. Child care is provided for younger children.

Each class opens with a snack and social time before parents and children split into separate groups to discuss topics such as house rules, discipline and building bridges.

"We work with the parents with lectures and hands-on work," Meyer said. "The kids and teens do the same thing and then the second hour we come together to role-play and practice."

Meyer said teens usually resist the program a little at first, but typically end up enjoying the program.

"Families get to know each other and share about their lives during these classes," he said.

This year marks the third year of SFP classes in the Valley, but the program was originally created in 1984 by Dr. Karol Kumpher, a University of Utah psychologist. Kumpher found that the greatest success came when classes combined children with their parents. The Valley program is funded through the federal Department of Health and Social Services.

Currently, 12 families are participating in the free weekly classes, with parents of children ages 6-10 meeting Tuesdays from 4-6:30 p.m. Parents of teens meet Thursdays at the same time and all classes are held at Mat-Su Recovery Center in Wasilla.

Classes close over the holidays but will open again the first week in January. Those interested may call 376-4000.

Meyer estimates that roughly 70 families will graduate from the program before the end of the school year, when the program will cease for the summer.

"Most of our clients are here because they want to be," he said. "Occasionally we get people who are mandated to attend, but usually people are nearing the end of their rope and they want to try something different and see what they are doing wrong."

Contact Joel Davidson at joel.davidson@frontiersman.com.