Cure for domestic violence begins early in home

Frontiersman editorial board

The Frontiersman is running a series of articles about domestic violence this week, and the stories contained in three editions will barely start to describe the problem's magnitude. In the Valley, professional counselors estimate anywhere from one woman in eight to possibly one in four has been the victim of violence from an intimate partner.

The exact numbers will never be known because so many women don't report the crime, whether from fear of retaliation or myriad other reasons. And that's what makes solving the problem so difficult. It happens behind closed doors where police can't respond unless alerted.

However, it's already too late by the time a man has developed the attitudes that result in battering, controlling, or other types of domestic violence. Those attitudes, developed over years, are deeply ingrained. That's why the best hope of preventing these crimes begins at home, where mother and father must model proper behavior toward one another for their children.

Children who see violence in the home become conditioned to accept it as normal. After all, that's the world they know. Even worse, Candy Limmer of the Alaska Family Resource Center in Palmer says there is research showing that children who repeatedly see violence in the home -- even shouting and yelling in the absence of physical violence -- develop permanently affected brain patterns. Once that happens, they are five times more likely than other children to embark on a road toward eventually employing the same pattern of coercion and threatened violence toward future partners.

There are many myths surrounding domestic violence. One is that women stay because they enjoy being hit. According to a news release from the Alaska Family Resource Center, "Women stay in abusive relationships out of fear; due to lack of support from their families, churches, friends, and communities; for economic reasons; because of concern for the needs of their children; and because of a strong desire to make their relationships work."

Friends, neighbors, family and, in fact, the entire community is needed to help address this immense problem. And it starts at home, where children are always watching.