DADICATION

WASILLA — In the 1983 movie “Mr. Mom,” Michael Keaton played a man who chose, against his will at first, to be an at-home dad with the kids while mom brought home the bacon.

Keaton fumbles and bumbles his way through the cooking, cleaning, changing diapers and entertaining the tots throughout the day.

It made us laugh.

Now 24 years later, being the man of the house could mean staying home to take on the domestic duties while mom takes on the bills.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2003 there were an estimated 105,000 stay-at-home dads in the Unites States. These are married fathers with children under 15 who are not in the labor force primarily so they can care for family members while their wives work outside the home. Stay-at-home dads care for 189,000 children.

Adam Imperato takes his “Mr. Mom” role very seriously.

New to Alaska, Imperato and his wife, Crystal, along with his sons, Braden, 4, and Cade, 2, moved to Wasilla in July after his wife accepted a job at Mat-Su Regional Hospital.

Adam was a stay at home dad in their previous hometown in Grand Rapids, Mich., and had become successful at pulling together a group of dads like him to play games with their kids, check out the ball games and talk about life at home.

It’s a life Imperato said he prefers and loves.

“In the beginning, friends and family were questioning it at first, but then they saw that it was good for us as a family,” Imperato said.

Imperato had been working around the clock as a pharmaceutical tester outside of Kalamazoo, Mich. while Crystal went through the final stages of medical school. When she began working as a physician full-time and taking on more responsibilities at work, it quickly became obvious that their lives at home were slowly crumbling.

“We had our first son, Braden, going through 10 hours of daycare a day so that we could be at work,” Imperato said. “It was ridiculous. I really didn’t see the point working at something I wasn’t very fond of and we both decided her job alone could support the family.”

This swapping of traditional roles works well for many families. The mother may have a professional occupation that requires substantial time in exchange for the salary to support the family on one income. Household tasks may be shared more than traditional Western roles might prescribe.

In these arrangements, the father will assume the majority of the household chores (cooking, cleaning and laundry) and childrearing. However, when the mother gets home from work, the mother will often reassume these duties from dad.

Traditionally, the typical housewife was left to manage the parenting duties during a standard work day, but increasing equality has caused a reversal of these roles amongst the working class family, allowing women’s careers to take precedence in a marriage so they are the primary breadwinner of the family.

As recently as 25 years ago, such an arrangement with the father staying at home was almost unknown in many places of the world, with traditionally fathers having less contact with their children than the mother, but prevalence is increasing and attitudes are changing. In some places, such as in the rural Canadian Prairie Provinces, the practice of women going to work while men stay at home has existed since the 1930s.

Despite this, stay-at-home dads still aren’t widespread throughout much of the world.

For Imperato, the decision to have him stay at home was a no-brainer.

He quickly transitioned into a new lifestyle that benefited himself and their children, which by 2005 was a family of four.

In Michigan, Imperato bought books on parenting, learned how to cook decent food, searched online for new places to take the kids and eventually began looking for other dads just like him. After a while, Imperato realized that there were very little “out and proud” stay-at-home dads.

He finally met another “Mr. Mom” named Andrew. The two of them swapped similar stories and decided to start a small Yahoo! group online to put the word out in Grand Rapids, connecting with other at-home fathers. In the beginning, it received minimal attention from the public, but the media caught wind and a story was written in their hometown newspaper.

“After that article ran we were up to 16 stay-at-home dads in our group, and when I left for Alaska, that group had more than 50 members,” Imperato said.

Imperato’s stay-at-home dad group got together and did things that moms traditionally do, with the kids and without.

“We went to the parks with the kids, got away from the wives and kids, went to sporting events, dinner, golfing,” he said. “We have fun while supporting each other.”

This summer, Imperato has attempted to launch a similar group in the Valley.

He picked up the “Stay At Home Dad’s Handbook” by Peter Baylies and launched a new local Yahoo! group online, looking for dads. The search was on.

So far, Imperato has nine other dads signed on from Eagle River, Wasilla, Palmer and Anchorage.

Imperato said that even though the group is spread out, he hopes it can organize activities so that they can get to know each other better, like he did with the group he founded in Grand Rapids.

“The old group thinks I’m group sick,” Imperato said. “I get e-mails from those guys on a regular basis, sharing their stories.”

Imperato believes newcomers are hesitant to associate themselves as an at-home dad because men in this category tend to still believe they need to be the primary earners at home. Once they sign up they realize the good involved for dads, moms and the kids.

“Crystal loves it. I mean there’s days the kids are running around like crazy, but she loves the fact that the kids are taken care of by the husband.”

Imperato admits there are days he wants to go back to work, but not to paying for day care, gas and other expenses involved with two parents out in the work world.

“I’ve considered finding a job from the house, without the Internet scams, but there’s not much out there,” he said.

Imperato’s day is typical of any other family’s.

Adam and Crystal are awakened each morning by the kids at 6 a.m. While Crystal gets ready for work, dad dresses the kids and makes breakfast, usually consisting of waffles, eggs or cereal. The boys then watch a little morning T.V. as dad begins the daily housecleaning chores.

Two- and 4-year-olds aren’t exactly picker-uppers, Imperato said, so to maintain the new house smell at their home in Wasilla, Imperato built a playroom on the ground level for the boys, fully equipped with a train set, shelves of toys and activities.

The threesome are then out of the house by 10 a.m. to explore their new area, heading to local parks, joining in story time at the public library or do the grocery shopping.

Arriving home in the afternoon, Imperato prepares a healthy lunch leading into a short nap time until 3 p.m.

Imperato then flips through the many choices of cookbooks he has, preparing the dinner entrée before Crystal arrives home from work.

“I’ll get creative with the meals sometimes,” he said. “The kids love to help. It’s their deal too.”

Imperato said that if ideas run short of things to do, Crystal’s parents live in Willow, lending a helping hand wherever possible.

Imperato said that he would love his new stay-at-home dad group, the Mat-Su Dads, to blossom and take off, even though it has so far seen little response from the community.

“It’s a group for guys to be OK with being an at-home dad and have fun,” he said. “They don’t have to feel like they’re the only ones and my hope is that they’ll appreciate the time they’ll get to spend with their kids in the end.”

Contact J.J. Harrier at 352-2269 or valleylife@frontiersman.com.