Day one

I did it, I really honestly did it. I got up off my fat rear end and made it to the weigh in before the close. While I threatened to hide a 50 lb dumbbell somewhere in which it wouldn't be seen, i resisted the temptation.

I almost said that it was way too cold out to leave the house. I almost said that it wasn't worth it. I almost said screw it I will do it tomorrow, but I didn't.

All sorts of "signs" told me to stay home; the shirt I wanted to wear was dirty and a clean one would require tromping down allllll those stairs (all one flight of them) to get it. Then, it was cold enough to freeze the lock on the front door, if THAT isn't a sign what is? That is a big pink and orange flashing neon sign saying stay home and eat M&Ms. Then of course there is always the whole "oh darn I don't have a babysitter" excuse. A definate oldie but goodie, one that has never failed me before.

I chose differently this time, not totally sure why but I did. It isn't that I don't want to lose the weight, honestly, really, truly I do. I just don't want to give up cheetos to do it. I had the same problem with the cigarettes, I wanted to be a nonsmoker, I just didn't want to quit smoking to do it. Eating is exactly the same, I want to be 130 lbs, but waiting so long to have it happen is totally inconvenient and does not fit in my schedule. At least when I quit smoking I did it in 1 day. Put the cigs down and don't pick them back up. You can't do that with dieting, you have to eat to live. You can't put the food down and never pick it up again.

The food is there all the time. When I get up it is there while I'm fixing breakfast for the kids to go to school. After they leave it is there for me while I have a cup of coffee and relax while I read the paper. Since I have to make a lunch for the kid that is left at home, really, I might as well have something myself. Then there is that whole afternoon scurry around cleaning up before school gets out and I have to get them a snack. Who can resist a quick chocolate pick me up for that? Dinner isn't bad but then it is the only really good meal of the day. Oops, the kids left food on the plate and lord knows there are starving children in some country that would love to have it. Then there is the best part of the day, that hour of quiet after the kids go to bed, hubby has gone to work, and it is quiet for the first time since waking up. That magical hour that positively SCREAMS ice cream. Not that low fat low sugar low taste ick stuff. The real honest vanilla fully fat ice cream with the fudge topping that you warm up yourself. That thick warm chocolate smothering all that delicious cold creamy vanilla.

But I did it anyway. I chose to make it matter, I chose not to quit before I started. Lets see if I can keep the momentum going and choose the sherbert tomorrow during that wonderful quiet hour when no one sees me.