Devoted mom fights demons

MAT-SU -- The Division of Family and Youth Services, picketed this summer by a small but vocal group of upset parents, gets hit hard by the public on both sides.

One side says the state is all too slow to step in on serious cases. The other side says the state is adversarial to parents, often failing to work with them to reunite families.

In the always emotional debate, a Wasilla woman stepped up to the plate to tell her story, one that details cooperation and the road to recovery. Like 17,000 other individuals reported to DFYS last year, her case came about because it was reported.

Kim, whose last name cannot be used in order to protect her school-age daughter, likes her case worker.

"I knew that you can't look at them as the enemy," Kim said. "They don't get involved unless they need to, and I was willing to get help."

Ten months ago, Kim was met at her hospital bedside by a social worker there to take custody of her newborn daughter. Eight months into her pregnancy, she had taken herself to the hospital after a bout of heavy drinking, and admitted to doctors that she had relapsed while carrying her baby.

The baby was taken early, due to her admission and Kim's alarmingly high blood pressure.

Under the state's mandatory reporting laws, enacted in 1995, physicians, like other professionals, must report harm against the unborn and children they see. Her doctor put out a call to DFYS.

Kim, who came to Alaska from Louisiana in 1976, has struggled with alcohol abuse her entire adult life, though she had long periods of sobriety. She holds two college degrees, one in medical assisting and the other in small business administration. "I do really well, I'm organized and on top of things when I am not drinking. But when I drink, I'm the opposite," she said.

When DFYS announced its intentions to take her baby, Kim asked if she could call her therapist, Amidha Porter of Midnight Sun Counseling Services. Kim was in treatment with Porter.

"I talked to her first, and then she spoke with them. They took legal custody of my baby, but left her with me," Kim said. "The initial agreement was to keep both me and the baby together. They told me that from the start and were more than fair to me."

In the ensuing months, Kim followed a case plan that involved immersing herself in a support system, letting health professionals and a caseworker into her home for weekly visits, attending treatment at Nugen's Ranch, and finally, entering a residential treatment program through the Alaska Women's Resource Center's Stepping Stones where she is now residing. Her baby is with her.

Twice while home with her baby she had relapses. Each time she reported her shortcoming to her social worker. "I told him because it was the right thing to do. I didn't want them to find out another way," she said.

Her counselor, Amidha Porter, said Kim's attitude has made all the difference. "Although she struggles with alcoholism, her response to her struggle has been to do everything within her power to win that particular battle, and when she had a temporary setback and DFYS did step in, it was with an attitude of 'how can we keep this family together' -- a far cry from "we're out to get you,'" Porter said.

The Stepping Stones program, which allows mothers and children to live together during residential treatment for up to a year, was a creative solution directly sought out by Kim's social worker, Kim said. Because of the sensitivity of his position, the Frontiersman was asked not use the social worker's name.

The social worker included Porter as a member of Kim's treatment team and otherwise encouraged Kim by not giving up on her, she said.

"In this case, the mother has made meeting the expectations of DFYS a priority, putting her recovery and her parenthood before all else: she has never missed an AA meeting, an appointment with her social worker, a therapy session, an administrative review or any of the other supports provided by DFYS," Porter said. "She has been grateful for 'another chance,' and has educated herself about her options and made use of what has been offered her."

Kim has been in treatment for more than a month, and she doesn't know when she will be finished. "I'm not in a hurry. I want to be happy and learn how to cope with everyday life. At times my life was going so good, and then for some reason, it snaps. Then I have a drink. I want to learn how not to do that."

Her social worker said he has faith Kim will be successful over the long run.

"One of the things that is important and kind of separates the potential success is for the family to not view us adversarially but to know we sometimes have to make hard choices," he said.

This is the second in a series of articles in which the Frontiersman will take a look at individual Division of Family and Youth Service cases making their way through the Palmer court. By law, these cases are confidential, and the public cannot attend court proceedings to hear the arguments pro and con. A group of concerned parents who began picketing in public this summer say they want to talk about their cases because, they claim, the secrecy grants greater power to those making the decisions.