Did you notice?

I grew up with ordinary parents. If you can call it “ordinary” to keep your marriage together through the rough and joyful times; if you can call it “ordinary” to take care of your home and children as your highest priority; if you can call it “ordinary” to pursue a stable, happy, wholesome life instead of more and more money. Is it “ordinary” to sacrifice your own personal hobbies and pursuits to take care of your children? Is it “ordinary” to love them more than you love even yourself?

My parents kept me safe in their quiet, aware way. When I took violin lessons from a marvelous violinist, Mr. Parks, my mother always sat on the couch tatting lace while she listened. She heard me grow from a scratchy, out-of-tune violinist into one with a beautiful sound. I’ll never forget the day I walked into the living room where my mother sat after my lesson. She was beaming. “I thought Mr. Parks was playing, and then he started talking. It was you. You sounded like him!” I had achieved a remarkable milestone on a difficult instrument, and my mother was there to hear it. But there’s more. She always insisted I dress in slacks for my lessons— no shorts or cutoffs. She was protecting me, teaching me how to present myself with dignity, and she stayed to quietly ensure my safety, in a pretty safe world.

One day I wanted to stay at my friend’s house overnight. My dad was picking me up from the play date in his old Chevy (with no air conditioning for the desert heat).

“What if mom has the baby tonight? Don’t you think you should be home, just in case?” he asked. My mother was expecting and due any day, but the truth was, he didn’t know the father of my friend, and there was no way he was going to put me in any potential type of risk by spending the night with people he didn’t know. And he took care of it so gently, I hardly noticed.

I grew up eating homemade, homegrown food. I then cooked homemade food for my kids, and now my kids cook homemade food for their kids. No sugary processed cereal for breakfast for three generations…okay, for the most part! Who would know that growing food and cooking food would protect us from a plethora of potentially harmful additives? Or that our diet would include so many important elements because of the fresh food? When I went to college, it took me years to learn to shop in the produce section. I was used to the vegetables and fruit coming in from the back door. My parents blessed us with better health for generations. And they did it so quietly I didn’t even notice.

My parents had this quiet faith. My dad loved to study scriptures, and he did it himself often. We prayed as a family every morning, and before every meal, and we went to church every week. But I also heard my parents pray together before they went to bed every night. And they spent time every week helping people. And they never wavered in teaching us what was right and wrong. In her later years, my mom told me she wished she had shared her testimony of Jesus with us more. My response? “Mom, your life was your testimony. We all know your faith.”

In our church, we receive a “recommend” to enter the most holy of our sanctuaries, the Temple. One day my mom needed an interview to “renew” her recommend, and my dad was the High Priest authorized to do that. He sat down and filled out her recommend without asking her a question.

“Dad, “I said. “You’re supposed to interview mom!”

“No one knows her heart better than I do,” he said, “and her heart is pure. She is worthy.” That’s what my dad thought of my mom. It’s what we all think of my mom, still. She was pure in heart.

What did your parents do to bless and protect you—that you didn’t notice? Think about it awhile. We are inclined to take our life’s blessings for granted, especially the service and love of our good parents.

Even if your parents struggled to care for you, or failed you in significant ways, they gave you life. Life is a precious gift, and we can appreciate that gift, while we seek healing and our own healthy way forward. We may also “notice” and give thanks for “other mothers” and “other fathers” in our lives, who blessed us with love and care. God sends gifts and blessings through many channels to meet our needs.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are near. These celebrations give us a nudge to remember and give thanks for our parents and our “other parents.” May we more fully notice all they gave for us.

Beth Wright is a long-time Mat-Su gal, mother, grandmother, and happily married wife. She loves the good people in this valley, and is enjoying the beautiful Spring. She is thankful to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.