Don’t ask what you can do for us; you’ve done enough

In a recent Spectrum on the Opinion page in the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, Vic Kohring made a magnanimous gesture. He wrote he was willing to forgive those who had wronged him. Wow — you can almost hear the Valley’s collective sigh of relief.

The judge, the prosecutors, the FBI, the media, and his constituents are finally off the hook. What were we all thinking letting pesky little things like ethics and the law get in the way of his good works?

Also resting a little easier is convicted felon Bill Allen. He was CEO and owner of, now defunct, oil service company Veco and he and Vic were buddies. Of course, Allen was buddies with a lot of legislators. They were all sort of a social organization that would have secret meetings to discuss things like how much grease to apply to which wheel. They even had a club name, the Corrupt Bastards Club. They had hats and T-shirts and everything. I’m not sure, but I think they even had a secret handshake. The club, along with Veco has since disbanded and most of its members found a new, bigger club with federal housing and really sharp bright orange uniforms.

Anyway, Vic was a member of Allen’s club. They would get together for conversations over Big Macs and money. One of my favorite conversations went something like this: “Here Vic; here’s a $100.”

“Oh boy, thanks Mr. Allen. Now what can I do for you? Perhaps some legislative arm twisting?”

Of course, this is just paraphrased. I don’t think Kohring would use a word like perhaps. He’s a more definite kind of guy.

Well, it turns out that you just can’t trust an extortionist. When the chips were down and in the evidence locker Bill Allen turned on his old friend. He called that little exchange a bribe and said that he expected Kohring to come through with some favorable tax legislation.

One can just imagine Vic’s surprise. All he did was take a few hundred bucks from a guy in a hotel room and then ask what he could do for him. It was just an unfortunate series of events. Made more unfortunate by the camera secretly taping the whole thing.

So, to recap you have these guys in a hotel room. One gives the other a few some cash and the other says “What can I do for you?” Meanwhile there’s a secret camera capturing all the action. This could be anything: Right? It doesn’t have to involve bribery.

That was all the feds had on Kohring. Just that tape of a rather creepy exchange. And the testimony of that back-stabber Bill Allen. And the legislative action taken by Kohring after money had changed hands. But that was it. Big deal! Can you spell railroad? Apparently Vic can. He’s had plenty of me time to improve his vocabulary.

Now that Vic is out of prison he has decided to take the high road and forgive those who have wronged him. What a big-hearted guy. We should all be lining up outside his RV to receive his blessing.

Every one of us — his constituents — should be ashamed that we weren’t also there with money in hand so he could ask: “Well what can I do for you?” We could have made up a schedule so things wouldn’t get too crowded outside his Winnebago. If only we would have had the foresight to put some sort of plan into action, none of this would have happened. Our lack of organization is not Kohring’s fault.

Those in the legal system should be particularly grateful that Vic is willing to forgive you. How could you take the word of a sleaze ball like Allen over that of an elected state legislator? It’s your job to sort out the facts and come to a reasoned conclusion. Why are you wasting your time with evidence and testimony? All you have to do is ask Vic. He would have been happy to explain the meaning of the phrase: “What can I do for you?” After all, haven’t I demonstrated that it could mean a multitude of things?

Those of us in the media should be especially thankful for your grand gesture Vic. Let me be the first to offer a heart felt thank you! Whenever things start to slow down and I’m left scratching my head, looking through the headlines for some issue, any issue, you always come through.

The idea that everyone owes you an apology is brilliant. I can’t think of anyone else who could take all that has happened and arrive at that conclusion. I’m not sure what goes on in your head, but I do know that you are indeed a unique individual Vic and for that we in the media should be grateful. One word, or 700-word Spectrum, from you and the entire community seems to come together. Thanks Vic.

Finally, I can’t speak for all those who have wronged you, but I can say that forgiveness is a very difficult thing. It’s dependent on the person doing the forgiving being able to put all past infractions aside and start anew. In order to do that you have to take a very cold hard look at what was done and come to terms with it. So thanks for the gesture Vic and, by the way, you don’t have to ask what you can do for us. You’ve already done quite enough.

Chuck Legge is a freelance political cartoonist and community columnist who lives in Sutton.