FAITH: Principles For Finding A Godly Mate

The Bible is a very practical Book. It is a divine, supernatural Book but it is also very down to earth. We would not expect anything less- after all, it is God’s Book! One of the biggest decisions any person makes is whom to marry. Does the Bible provide guidance for dating and courtship? Do the Scriptures provide principles for finding a suitable mate? Genesis 24 is the longest chapter in the Book of Genesis. Genesis 24:1-67 provides seven principles for finding a godly mate.

The first principle is to listen to the counsel of godly parents/people (verses 1-9). Abraham told his servant, “You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, but you will go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac” (verses 3-4). The servant listened to Abraham and most importantly, Isaac listened to his father! The Canaanites were very wicked. We must listen to the counsel of godly parents.

The second principle is saturate the process in prayer (verses 10-14). Abraham’s servant prayed, “O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today….” (verse 11). God has ordained the ends but God has also ordained the means. God works through prayer. If we lack wisdom, we must ask God for His help (James 1:5).

Martin Luther said, “I have so much to do today, I must take time to pray.” Prayer is asking for God’s help. It is acknowledging our own weakness. God answers prayer. God is never too busy. God answered the prayers of Abraham and God will respond to your prayers also.

The third principle is to look for qualities that reveal character (verses 15-21). Rebekah gave the servant a drink. She then volunteered to give the camels water. She was a very hard worker. A thirsty camel can drink 30 gallons of water in 15 minutes. Rebekah provided water from a well for 10 camels! Rebekah is described as beautiful (verse 16), a virgin (verse 16), hard working (verse 18), generous (verse 18) and a self starter (verse 20). She was definitely marriage material!

One person said, “Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener!” Another person said, “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” No. The secret to a happy marriage is found in the Bible. We must be people of character as defined by the Word of God.

The fourth principle is to study silently, think deeply and proceed cautiously (verses 21-27). Never rush into anything that leads to permanence. Verse 21 says, “Meanwhile, the man was gazing at her in silence, to know whether the Lord had made his journey successful or not.” Marriage is a long term commitment! God’s plan is one man and one woman for a lifetime. It is important to slow down and think!

The fifth principle is to notice relationships among family members (verses 28-32). The home is the laboratory in which the Christian life must be lived. There is no better place to practice love, forgiveness, kindness and patience then in the family. Abraham’s servants carefully noticed the relationship between Rebekah and her family members.

The sixth principle is to see if there is a mutual interest in spiritual things (verses 33-60). In this long section Abraham’s servant recounted God’s leading. The servant said to Rebekah’s family, “Do not delay me, since the Lord has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master” (verse 56). In verse 58 they called Rebekah and said to her, “’Will you go with this man?’ and she said, ‘I will go.’”

The most important thing is to be saved. Jesus died for us. He paid the price for our sins. He offered God the Father a perfect sacrifice. Jesus’ life and sacrifice were so perfect He was resurrected from the dead. Make certain there is a mutual interest in spiritual things. Do not be unequally yoked!

The seventh principle is to establish a solid foundation for marriage (verses 61-67). Verse 63 says, “Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening….” Isaac was a deeply spiritual man. Verse 64 says, “Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from the camel.” She literally “fell off” her camel! What an amazing moment that must have been! Isaac married her and then he loved her (verse 67). Never rationalize away the importance of purity.

There is a reason the Bible is the best selling Book of all time. Marriage is not a social construct (i.e., marriage did not originate in the mind of man). Marriage is a gift from the the mind of God. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing!” (Proverbs 18:22) The Bible even provides principles for finding a godly spouse!

Pastor Ethan Hansen

Faith Bible Fellowship

Big Lake, AK