Faux vets raise soldier’s ire

Eventually, you’re bound to run into one of them. They don’t realize how much they stand out as they yammer on and on about “the things they’ve seen” and tales of combat that sound suspiciously like the last war movie that hit the big screen. Of course, I’m talking about phony combat veterans. Any veteran who has experience with these want-to-be GIs will tell you they might as well paint “liar” across their forehead in neon-green paint.

I had a nice, fun story for this week. But I’ve recently stumbled across another one of these goofy pseudo-warriors and darn it, I’m mad and feel compelled to write about it.

I come from a military family; Navy, Air Force and Army. I joined the U.S. Army shortly after graduating high school. I’ve had family members in the Revolutionary War (Sorry folks, but the Comptons fought as Loyalists during that one. Forgive me!) I’ve had family in World War I, World War II, Vietnam and other campaigns since then. To say I’m proud would be an understatement. And one of the lessons I learned from my father was to bear it silently.

Dad was fortunate enough to be able to speak with my mother from Vietnam the day after I was born, but I was almost one when he was able to return stateside and see me for the first time. I know he had some unpleasant times while there, but he never speaks of it. I think that for him, it was a job that he was called to do and he did it — plain and simple.

My grandfather is a little more open about his experience fighting the Japanese in WWII, but then at 94 years old, I think he reached a point where he doesn’t mind talking about it. And he speaks of it rather matter-of-factly, without embellishment or amazing tales of heroism.

Shortly after the death of Osama bin Laden, newspapers ran articles about fraudulent SEALS coming out of the woodwork. Suddenly, there were men popping up all over who were sharing tales of extraordinary valor and gruesome death. Funny thing, I have yet to meet somebody who served in Rangers, SEALS or other Special Forces teams that willingly and openly speaks of it. Not that they necessarily keep it hidden. If asked you will often get a simple answer, but details of missions etc. are kept within the tight circle of men involved. They’re rarely talked about openly, often because various aspects are classified. But more importantly, people who aren’t part of the Special Forces community lack the proper reference to truly understand what it’s like, and therefore it’s just uncomfortable discussing it with them.

Unfortunately, it’s not just civilians who have never served a day in the military who will come up with whoppers. A few years ago, I hired a man who had been recently discharged from the Navy. He worked in the surface fleet in a rather bland position. One day, after the topic of prior military experience came up, he began blurting out absurd stories about “having to have his SEAL tattoo removed” after leaving the SEALS (strange, I never could spot the scarring that having a tattoo removed would leave). His tales just got more absurd after that. Not a year later, I came across a former Air Force vet that, to listen to him, had held more James Bond-esque jobs than would seem humanly possible.

Recently, I stumbled across a website that advertised a tactical-operations outfit (overseas) staffed by supposed former U.S. veterans. Their claimed experience, while perhaps believable to the natives of the country they operate in, are laughable to any U.S. veteran. One man claims to be a former Marine who trained Green Berets and Delta (no you didn’t). Another man claims to be a several-year former Ranger who was involved in interdicting narcotics, training various federal government Drug Enforcement Agency agents etc. Funny, I didn’t know the U.S. government loaned out Rangers to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, DEA and other domestic agencies. In fact, a little investigation would reveal that this man took an early discharge from the Army after only three years due to a personal hardship, never completed his Ranger training, and never saw a single combat tour.

I wonder what would happen to these people if they tried such fraud within their home country? Personally, I liked John McCain’s proposal that such deceit be labeled a crime punishable by law.

I don’t know if it’s possible for those of you who have not served in the military to really grasp what a hard slap in the face it is to come across people like this. To have served your country, engaged in combat and silently entered the civilian world only to meet blowhards who steal the respect that others have earned and often paid dearly for is maddening. It is the vilest of insults.

A quick tip for you, if you come across a person who eagerly talks about his time in combat, who offers up gory descriptions and harrowing tales…be wary. True combat veterans will rarely be so anxious to discuss it and, if they do, it is rarely more than a watered down “just the facts” oratory.

And while post traumatic stress syndrome is very real and sadly experienced by many, contrary to what so many of these frauds allege, it isn’t an automatic condition that every vet carries home with them. Many accept it for what it was and, believe it or not, actually re-adjust and adapt to civilian life just fine. If I had a nickel for every former military man I’ve encountered who really ratchets up the “Oh, the terrible things I’ve seen” — when I know full well he was a computer tech or a paper pusher who never saw even a minute of combat — I’d be a rich man.

A shake of the head and an eye roll to the fakers who never served in the military. An even bigger shake to those vets who claim combat they never really saw; you should know better. And finally, I offer a salute to all veterans, whether you experienced combat or not, who keep it real.

Ben Compton is a Palmer resident and publishes his column under the tagline “Compton’s Corner,” the same title used by his grandmother, Phyllis Compton, a longtime Frontiersman columnist.