Feed your gratitude

I certainly married up, as my wife has been and will continue to be my foundation and rock. I am not sure how she does it all, between kids, dogs, activities, church, work and now grandkids. She continues to find balance where many in this day and age struggle to find it. At times, I am not sure she even sleeps, when her heart dwells on others and she is thinking of how to help our family. It is never about her. I would like to think that our marriage allowed her to developed these needed talents due to our educational and personal decisions, but to be honest, it goes back to Raya, her mother.

My mother-in-law passed away many years ago, however she taught my wife resiliency coupled with compassion. My father-in-law served in the Navy and finished his time as a Master Chief in the Coast Guard. During this time, Raya served as the surrogate mother for many a young sailor as they navigated from base to base during his career. She volunteered at the community center on base, and she always had extra mouths around the table on holidays, or just about any other time.

She made time for her daughters. She was available when they wanted to talk about things, not necessarily when Raya was ready. She showed them strong female leadership when it was not always popular while my father-in-law spent many months at a time at sea. Raya needed to make many of the decisions involving the welfare of her family. For example, Raya was the one who planned moves when it was time to transfer from one base to another as they crisscrossed the country on more than one occasion.

She also served as a substitute grandmother to many. She watched her two nephews when they were very young while their mother worked. She had a calendar in her kitchen with the birthdays of every family member. As the second of six children, there were many nieces and nephews, and brothers and sisters-in-law; yet she sent each one a birthday card, without fail, year after year. It made them each feel special, important, and needed in her life.

I will always be thankful that she put mind over matter to a certain extent, to see the birth of her first grandchild. To say that she was elated would be an understatement. Even though she was in the midst of chemotherapy treatments, she made her way down to the hospital when my wife started to go into labor, and it was a long labor for our first child. I also remember her being too weak to hold her granddaughter and having her lay beside her, wanting to savor every last minute.

A saying that my wife has up in our kitchen states, “Feed your gratitude and you will starve your problems.” My mother-in-law had her challenges, and she was not perfect. She had open-heart surgery at a young age, was sickly as a child due to the after-effects of rheumatic fever, but I never heard her complain. On the contrary, she laughed and laughed and played the piano. I can still hear her fingernails clicking on the keys of the same piano we inherited from her. It continues to be a most pleasant memory. She often spoke about how happy and blessed she felt. She lived this saying to the fullest, as her heart dwelt in gratitude.

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (KJV 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Raya had a prayer in her heart, gave thanks often, and despite her trials, she gained a love of Christ.

We all have trials, and certainly, right now, things can feel a bit overwhelming. But when we recognize our blessings and seek for good and not the negative, we will indeed feed our gratitude.

Dr. John Boston is a father, husband, grandfather, local physician, member of the Mat-Su Board of Trustees and Colonel in the Alaska Air National Guard. He believes in Christ and is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.