Finding love in service

When I was a young mother with preschool children, a neighbor asked if there would be a day in the next week or two when I could tend her children. I liked this neighbor’s children and counted her as a good friend. But I was a very busy mom, and there were many things on my long list of things to do. I looked at my calendar and told my friend that I had no time to help her.

After I hung up the phone, I couldn’t let it go. This incident haunted me for weeks and months. If I had no time to help a friend, then something was out of balance in my life. Since then, I have tried to change both my perspective and my priorities.

When opportunities to serve arise, I ask myself: Am I doing something more important than the service needed? Can things in my life be rearranged or scratched off my to-do list? What will I be giving up by not serving? These questions have helped me to look outward.

Unfortunately, I don’t always remember this lesson.

One Friday evening, my husband answered the phone. As I listened to his half of the conversation, I realized that he was committing our family to something the next day—Saturday. That just couldn’t happen because, like every Saturday, some of our seven children had sports or other activities requiring our participation the next day. So, as he hung up the phone, I pounced. I asked him what on earth he had volunteered us to do. He explained that the call was from our across-the-road neighbor who had a small tree nursery. Our neighbor had hurt his back just as his large order of bare-root trees and shrubs had arrived. These saplings had to be planted immediately and our neighbor was asking for our help.

I launched into the list of activities the children were involved in the following day. I was upset. I explained that we needed to teach our children about responsibility and dependability. My husband countered that it was more important to teach our children about compassion, love and service. My husband won. We made phone calls, canceled activities and I grumbled along with my children.

The next day we rose early and helped our neighbor. At the end of a long day, we all knew we had made the better choice. None of us remember which activities we missed that day, but we all remember the love we have for that neighbor. When we serve others, we develop love for them.

In mid-January, my eighty-six-year-old mother had knee replacement surgery. Two days after surgery Mom came to my home for her recovery. The first few days were challenging as I had to help Mom get in and out of bed, to and from the restroom and to and from the dining table. I also helped her do physical therapy twice daily and helped her to dress.

The first day I put on her socks for her, I remembered a time seven years ago when I was recovering from back surgery and how annoyed I was. For weeks I couldn’t put on my own socks. I felt like having my husband or daughters care for my feet, in addition to everything else, was just too much to ask. As I coaxed Mom’s swollen feet into her socks, I thought only of what a privilege it was to be able to help her. In truth, I love my mom so much I would do anything to help her. When you truly love someone, service to them becomes a joy and not a chore.

Jesus Christ taught this lesson well. On the evening of the last supper, he washed the feet of his disciples. As he knelt before them, he showed that although he was their leader, their teacher, and indeed their Savior, he loved them and insisted on humbly serving them.

Christ commanded us to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” He went on to tell the parable of the Good Samaritan in which he identified everyone as a neighbor. When I love my neighbors like I love my mother, service will never be a burden or an obligation but a privilege and a gift. Christ challenges me to develop that love, his perfect love, for my neighbor.

Carol Kenley grew up in Palmer on a dairy farm. She owns and operates Kenley’s Alaskan Vegetables and Flowers, is a member of the Palmer Lions Club, is on the Board of Directors of Alaska Farmland Trust, and volunteers with Loaves of Love nonprofit charity. Carol is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.