Finding reasons for thankfulness, even amid loss

This week I talked to five people about recent deaths.

In each situation the person who passed away was a close family member. In most of these situations, the death was not unexpected, the loved ones had been ill for a significant period of time.

Yet, even though death was anticipated, nevertheless in each situation there remains a feeling of emptiness. The pain of loss continues. There is grief.

As I listened I heard more than loss, however. I heard memories of past joy. Together we reflected that it is natural and healthy to grieve.

Actually, even when we lose someone we care about we still have reason for thanks. Surely we are not thankful for their loss. But we still have the memories and we can be thankful for the love and for the time shared together. We can give thanks for shared faith and family.

Yes, the pain of loss continues. We know that the memories of the past are blessings we will not experience again. Sometimes it seems the grief does not seem to diminish.

Thankfully, Jesus was in the middle of each of these relationships. So, the words of Paul bring help in the midst of the pain of grief. God’s children are told in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14:

“Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

When a loved one “falls asleep in Jesus,” God’s grace gives more reason for thanks. God “brings with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”

In other words, our loved ones are still gone from our lives, but their suffering is over and they are with Jesus in heaven. We may miss the good old days. We can be thankful that our loved ones who died believing in Jesus are experiencing the best times with their Lord.

All of these situations of loss touched me personally this week as well. My dad and sister reminded me that it had been four years ago last Saturday, Jan. 17, that my mom passed away. It was four years ago since Jan. 24 that our family gathered to say goodbye.

Actually, I had remembered my mom’s passing and had recently been looking at pictures from past family gatherings. The pictures gave reason for thanks because of the love and the good times we shared. There continues the tinge of loss. But, there is the thanks that my mom is with Jesus.

Christians grieve, too. We lose those we love and we miss them. But we grieve differently. We don’t grieve like “those who have no hope.” While we hurt from the loss of our loved ones, we are thankful for God’s blessings, past and future.

Jonathan Rockey is pastor of St. John Lutheran Church in Palmer. Contact him at jonrock53@mtaonline.net.

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