Finding thanks

EAGLE RIVER — For one Eagle River woman, this year’s Thanksgiving feast marks a milestone no mother wants to celebrate. It is the one-month anniversary of the death of her youngest son, Brandon Cramer – her child born on Thanksgiving Day in 2003.

On Oct. 23, 2017 – after more than a year and a half of an intense treatment protocol that took the Cramer family across the Lower 48 seeking treatment at a variety of specialized medical centers – Brandon’s young, but depleting 13-year-old body could no longer battle against the ravages of a challenging and painful childhood cancer.

Yet among the heart-bashing tears and the pain of losing a life far too young, Brandon’s mother Cheril found rays of sunshine and glimmers of hope in the compassionate acts of her friends and neighbors who helped this single mother of three navigate her son’s illness and treatment.

Cheril’s first social media posts announcing Brandon’s death were ones stating her complete broken-heartedness; but they were also filled with thankfulness — words expressing gratitude and thankfulness and a sincere desire to give social credit to those that supported her family through this trial, she said.

“I have been so fortunate that since Brandon got sick and even when he passed away, people were so willing to come alongside of us and offer their moral support, emotional support, and financial support – just anything we needed. It was given without question,” Cheril said. “We have not done this alone. And Brandon never once felt isolated. He felt and knew he was loved by his peers and his church family and by this community. That made such a big difference when you do not feel alone.”

Children’s cancer wards are not the fun spots young teens seek for hangouts.

This is especially true for a kid like Brandon – diagnosed at age 12 with Wilms’ tumor, which according to the American Cancer Society, begins in the kidneys but can spread to the lungs and other blood vessels.

Brandon was an active pre-teen. He played any sport his close-knit group of friends would select, but loved basketball especially.

It’s pretty tough to play basketball when you’re in and out of hospitals, but as Cheril relates, Brandon’s friends kept the lines of communication open throughout his treatment.

“They had these hours-long texting sessions,” Cheril said. “But it was Brandon’s lifeline and it made all the difference for him. I am just so thankful.”

She has plenty of reasons not to be thankful:

Her son was taken by a cancer that many children overcome, at least according to statistics from a variety of medical institutions specializing in children’s cancer.Her family’s life has been one long interruption since Feb. 2016 when Brandon was diagnosed.Her son’s hopes for an adult life won’t be realized.

Yet, Cramer said she intends to focus on the things that bring thankful thoughts:

Her son’s brave approach to cancer inspired others.Friends and acquaintances stepped up to support/Never-ending phone calls, emails, texts and social media messages encouraging her and BrandonFriends who were always at the hospital keeping Cheril, Brandon and his two other brothers, Hunter and Keith, companyA job that not only tolerated, but facilitated the absences, when Cheril had to travel with Brandon for treatment OutsideA job that provided her with health insurance to pay for Brandon’s careA secondary, work-from-home job as a skin-care consultant that supported cash flow income, no matter where what location Brandon’s treatment requiredBrandon never stopped making future plans

“When you look at my situation; at our situation, at what it was, we really were blessed. It could have been that Brandon had cancer and I didn’t have a job and I didn’t have health insurance and I didn’t have the ability to travel and take him to doctors that could offer him the best care available,” Cheril said. “It could have been much much worse.”

Yet, there is one thing that could have been better.

Brandon could have beaten the cancer and survived.

That thought is painful. It is when that pain arises that her faith kicks in to overdrive.

“It hurts because I cannot hold my kid again,” she said. “But I also know that Brandon never wavered in his love for God and his trust in God. I know he is in a better place now and I know that I will see him again.”

Even when hospitalized with far too many tubes and wires surrounding him, Brandon never stopped making future plans, his mother said.

That included a date with his buddies to see the “Justice League” movie during the Thanksgiving holiday.

It might be understandable if Cheril let that teenage dream go under the circumstances. But that wouldn’t honor her son, she said. Thus, she is taking that core group of friends – six of them – to see the movie this weekend – probably Saturday, she thinks. There will be candy, drinks and popcorn and lots of merriment in memory of what Brandon would have done and the fun his mother knows her son would have wanted for his friends to enjoy.

“He cared a lot about his friends and he never lost touch with them and they never lost touch with him,” Cheril said. “I am going to make this happen to honor Brandon. He will be there in spirit.”