For two years in a row, a woman allegedly is killed by a loved one

Oct. 31, 2006

By MARY AMES

Frontiersman

MAT-SU - Three weeks into Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the Palmer district attorney's office has another major case: A 24-year-old woman is dead and her husband is in jail.

Four days less than a year after a Wasilla man strangled his live-in girlfriend and their baby, Kelly A. Kompkoff died from stab wounds police say her husband inflicted on her.

Kompkoff was stabbed in her home village of Tatitlek, transported by boat to the Valdez hospital, and flown to Anchorage for further medical treatment. Kompkoff died on the flight to Anchorage, according to a report from the Alaska Bureau of Investigation.

Matthew Kompkoff, 23, was taken to Valdez hospital for treatment of injuries, then locked in the Valdez jail, the report said.

Whether people choose to be aware of domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, it happens.

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, by Oct. 24, Alaska State Troopers had arrested 16 men and one woman on charges of domestic assault or violating a protective order. Palmer police reported three arrests, all males. Wasilla police filed charges against two men, and arrested one of them two weeks after the first report.

Some social messages turn a blind eye to domestic violence, or even encourage it.

Look at the Harlequin romance books, said Betsy Woodin, outreach coordinator with Alaska Family Services.

&#8220They are passionate, but not equal relationships,” Woodin said. &#8220The classic is Marlon Brando in ‘Streetcar Named Desire,' with his animalistic, sexual behavior and Blanche swooning.”

Some actions that seem exciting when people first become involved in a romantic relationship can signal trouble, she said, such as one partner who is swept away while the other makes all the decisions.

&#8220It plays out over and over in literature and magazines,” she said. &#8220We talk to teens about this a lot. It's important to have your eyes open early.”

When a new beau always pops in at work and calls all the time, it's not alarming at first, she said. But it starts to become restrictive, especially when he always wants to know who she is with, where she is going, how she spends her time, or if she feels like she is constantly being judged, said Woodin.

Most people have a sense of being confined and/or controlled, depending on whether they have a network of supportive friends and family, or maybe they have no healthy relationships to compare it to, she said.

&#8220We say, ‘What do you deserve in a relationship?', or teach them how to treat each other respectfully instead of making the assumption everyone does it,” she said. &#8220Sometimes, we have to teach them a new way to look at relationships.”

Women can be violent and controlling as well, Woodin said, and AFS offers a program, &#8220Women's Alternative to Violence and Education,” to help women find other ways of dealing with life and build empathy.

&#8220Folks have a real hard time with understanding men's violence and women's violence is different,” she said. &#8220What happens for us is that argument takes the focus away from the message. I think eliminating violence in the first place is the answer.”

AFS offers a state-certified batterers intervention program for men. The 36-week course is offered at no cost to inmates at Point MacKenzie Correctional Farm and Palmer Correctional Center, and for a fee to men who are not incarcerated. A huge reward for men who successfully complete the program is the chance to be reunited with their families, Woodin said.

&#8220We have a few success stories,” she said. &#8220They really learn to walk the talk and not just parrot it back. It takes making a conscious decision.”

Woodin had an answer for another message, one on bumper stickers across the state: &#8220Alaska Girls Kick A--.”

&#8220We encourage people to not accept violence,” she said.

Contact Mary Ames at 352-2284 or mary.ames@frontiersman.com.