From sink to shining sink

Kristen Seine/For the Frontiersman

In winter, odds are you're not going to wake up to the sun shining in your window. But Kristen Ford of Wasilla has the next best thing: on most days she wakes up to a shiny sink.

Kristen is a Flybaby.

Flybabies are not small insects, nor are they airline stewardesses in training. They are regular folks who at some point made their way to the Web site of Marla Cilley Š also known as Flylady. Most will tell you Flylady has changed their lives.

"A friend sent me the link," Ford said. With a toddler in the house and a new baby on the way, Ford said it was difficult to keep it all together. "The laundry was never done. The dishes were never done," she said.

It's a story echoed by thousands of "Flybabies" across the country, of perpetually trying to get organized. What Cilley offers is "a no-nonsense approach to getting your house and your life in order." And judging by the responses from many of her quarter-million-plus fans, it works. And it's free.

"Are YOU living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome)?" Cilley's Web site starts out. "Do you feel overwhelmed, overextended, and overdrawn? Hopeless and you don't know where to start? Don't worry friend, we've been there, too."

Cilley knows the system works because she's lived it. A few years ago, Cilley herself was living in chaos. "Then I decided to just change one little thing about my life," she wrote. "So I wrote out a goal of keeping my kitchen sink clean and shiny. That was all I wanted to accomplish. Much to my surprise, I got several extra benefits. Because of wanting to keep my sink clean, I unloaded my dishwasher so I could stash dirty dishes. With the sink clean, I wanted the counter to be clean too. Then when I cooked, I cleaned as I prepared the food. This was all the first month of the year. How could I top that?"

The thing about a shiny sink, Flybabies will tell you, is that they are addictive. "When I wake up to a shiny sink," Ford said, "I feel like I've accomplished something." And the shine, as Cilley noted, tends to spread to other areas.

However, Flylady warns against those wild bursts of good intentions that spur most Flybabies to want to "shine" their entire house all at once. "Your home didn't get this way overnight," she reminds members. "You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are, OK?"

The system works through the use of e-mails. Lots of them. Flylady sends reminders to shine your sink, to check the laundry, to update your checkbook and even to wear your shoes. She gently urges you to get to bed at a decent hour - "You need your rest!" And every day she sends a "mission" to work on in the home Š which can be anything from wiping down countertops to clearing off the clutter in the entryway.

Flylady got her name when she was looking to create a username for another online group. As her Web site states: "When they found out that she loved to flyfish and she taught it at a local college, they came up with the username "FlyLady." But the name took on new importance to Cilley when someone created the acronym FLY: Finally Loving Yourself.

Cilley's goal is not so much a Martha Stewart-like home, but what she says she's found for herself: "Peace of mind, pride in my home, and a passion for living."

Cilley freely admits that one of her secrets to success is following routines. Members learn to set up morning and evening routines, divide their homes into zones and, as Flylady says, jump right in. But not for too long; most missions can be completed in 15 minutes or less. "You can do anything for 15 minutes," Flylady says.

And the cardinal rule for Flybabies: NO whining. None. Flylady simply doesn't allow it. "I give hard orders and there are few excuses that I accept," Cilley states.

Another rule: you can't have a place for everything and everything in its place if you simply have too much stuff. A favorite among members is the "27-fling boogie" a decluttering tool Flylady prescribes regularly.

"I've gotten a lot better at throwing things away," said Anna Phelps of Wasilla, a mother of four who learned about Flylady through her sister-in-law a few years ago. While Phelps is no longer an active member (the daily e-mails got to be somewhat of a distraction, she said), what she learned from Flylady has remained with her. "Flylady really inspired me," Phelps said.

Phelps remembered the feeling of dread when company was due. "I'd go into a panic and think I'd have to clean the whole house," she said. Now, at least the living room is almost always neat, she said. "If I can always have the living room picked up, then I can have that one sane place," she said.

And Phelps adapted some of Flylady's teachings, like the concept of doing things in short time increments. "I've modified that to one-minute increments," she said. "For example, while something's heating in the microwave, I'll see how many dishes I can put into the dishwasher. It actually gets to be a game. Once I actually had time to run downstairs and get dressed before the microwave was done."

The system is not just about housework. Flylady's Web site has sections for people who work, for families who home school, for single parents and others. And not all of her 250,000-plus members are women. Actually, some of the most heartwarming testimonials she receives are from grateful husbands and family members.

Ford can attest to that. Her family has noticed a difference since she became a Flybaby. "I remember at first, when I was getting started, my husband would say, 'Honey, the kitchen's nice but what about the rest of the house?'" And when she started getting dressed to the shoes every day (another Flylady mandate), "my son was like, 'Mommy, are we going somewhere?'"

But now, Ford said even her mother, who used to rib her about her housekeeping skills, has started noticing the order in her home. "It's really great," Ford said. "My house isn't always completely clean Š I mean, I have two little kids, but now I have maybe three loads of laundry to do instead of dozens."

Flylady is very supportive of her Flybabies, and Flybabies tend to be supportive of each other. Many communicate through online message groups, such as "FLYingInAlaska" (which has almost 200 members) and "flyinginthematsuvalley," both through Yahoo! Groups.

Occasionally they meet over coffee or at each other's houses. There are Flylady groups all over the world, literally from Africa to Venezuela, and across the United States and Canada Š

Š from sink to shining sink.

For more information about Flylady, go to www.flylady.net.