Gratitude reveals the Lord’s hand during trials

I find that gratitude is easy to express in my prayers when life is going well. Unfortunately interwoven into life are trials, tribulations, and tragedy. Expressing gratitude during these events seems amiss. However, Paul taught in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In everything give thanks….”

I feel experiences are either a consequence of my own actions or are the result of events outside of my own control. When I pause to reflect on how I might return thanks to God for even my most difficult experiences I am able to see and identify his loving hand in all things and see where I have grown personally and spiritually.

Serving on a six-man special operations team attached to the Fourth Infantry Division during the initial invasion of Iraq allowed me to experience a number of personal trails and tribulations. These experiences allowed me to grow personally and spiritually while providing me with the opportunity to foster gratitude.

I will never forget the feeling I had as an Iraqi man pulled out a gun and held it to my head and asked, in his broken English, what I would do if he pulled the trigger. Surprisingly in that moment I did not find myself concerned about this man’s apparent lack of understanding for physics and anatomy. Instead I found myself walking through the valley of the shadow of death fearing no evil, for I knew and had accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and was doing my best to live in accordance with his commandments. Though this was not a good experience it proved to be life changing. I found gratitude for this experience. Having the possibility of death so close allowed me to evaluate and ultimately know where I stood with the Lord in that moment of truth.

I had many other experiences in Iraq that were not positive. Therefore, when I returned home and was asked what combat was like I found my token response to be, “it was not a good experience but it was a priceless experience.” However, as time passed and I reflected on and shared my experiences with others, I found gratitude for my combat experience. Combat provided me with a deeper understanding of life, and allowed me to see the Lord’s hand protecting and guiding me through the valley of the shadow of death. For this I will forever be thankful.

Though combat allowed me to experience a myriad of trials and tribulation, none would fully prepare me for the tragedy I would experience nearly three years ago. I found myself on the phone speaking with a law enforcement officer who was in another state. He was informing me that my little brother had taken his own life. That night I sobbed and lifted my voice to God saying over and over, “I do not want this experience.” However the experience was upon me and it moved me to action.

Since the time of my little brother’s passing I have participated in a mental health first aid class, become part of a local crisis intervention team coalition and have spoken to hundreds of youth regarding the help that exists for those feeling like life’s challenges are too great to bear.

On one occasion after speaking to students at a middle school, a young lady in the audience approached me. She thanked me for the words I had shared and expressed the impact they had on her. She explained that she had struggled with depression. I encouraged her to speak with the school councilor or a medical professional regarding her depression. She responded that she had been seeing two councilors off and on for seven years. I was taken back, for she was only in eighth grade.

As the youth I speak to express their appreciation for the words of hope I share with them, I am astonished by how many young people are struggling with the same issues as my little brother. Though I am not grateful for the loss of my little brother I am thankful for the opportunity the Lord has given me to help others and through that help perhaps prevent another family from experiencing the tragedy our family experienced nearly three years ago.

Life is full of trials, tribulations, and tragedy. Nonetheless if we search hard enough we will find where thanks can be returned to God and his son Jesus Christ. When we find where and from what angle thanks can be given I believe we will not only be more apt to see the Lord’s hand in our life but we will also see personal and spiritual growth from these experiences.

Ryan Ponder served in the Armed Forces for eight years, and currently lives in the valley with his wife and three children. Ryan volunteers for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.