Healing physical and emotional wounds with compassion

A gentleman called my office the other day to get in immediately because he had cut himself with a chainsaw and didn’t want to go to the Emergency Room. As luck would have it, I had a cancellation, and we could see him. He had really done some damage, but fortunately, he had avoided any significant nerves, bones, and blood vessels.

My staff and I spent a fair amount of time cleaning the wound to ensure no little pieces of stuff were left behind. We numbed his hand and began the slow process of cleaning, trimming, and suturing. He was most patient as the process continued, and after ninety minutes or so, the wound was closed with about thirty stitches. I provided some medication along with counseling on how to decrease the swelling and aid in its healing. As a staff, we felt we had done a pretty good job.

A couple of days later, he came back so we could evaluate the healing process. It looked good. He mentioned that he had shown a friend his hand, and they immediately wondered what doctor had “done the hatchet job” of sewing it up. My patient then showed him a picture of the hand after the injury but before the stitches. His friend had a very different view of his hand with that background and was impressed by how well it looked, considering the injury.

It struck me as funny that the first impression of my patient’s friend was that the suturing was done poorly. There will undoubtedly be a significant scar, yet the hand will function how it was designed with no loss of sensation or range of motion, but there will be a constant reminder of the trauma that had occurred.

When we notice someone’s physical or emotional wounds or scars, do we rush to judgment without taking in the “before” picture? At times, do we also jump to conclusions about people prematurely? The famous quote, “You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes,” applies more now than ever. Many people carry invisible wounds. Others have significant scars that make it hard to notice anything else. At this time, we need empathy more than anything.

KJV 1 Peter 3:8 reads, “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.” In John 13:34, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” These two scriptures remind me that compassion and Christlike love have always been necessary. How can we become more Christlike and develop more compassion and empathy?

First, we need to listen and be quiet. Listen to the words being spoken by others and take them in, ponder them. Don’t try to formulate a response in your mind while they are talking, even sharing their soul. Second, pray for the gift of discernment to understand what is going on with our friends and with others. Lastly, be patient; most people just desire to be heard and understood. They do not want you to carry their burden, but everyone wants to be understood, accepted, and not treated differently.

Unfortunately, in the world of social media, Twitter, and such, the art of patience and listening is rapidly fading away. I will admit that I am not nearly as good at this as I should be considering my profession. I have much to improve on. I plan to take my own advice and pray for help so that I might be better—not only for myself but for others.

Dr. John Boston is a father, husband, grandfather, local physician, member of the Mat-Su Board of Trustees, and Colonel in the Alaska Air National Guard. He believes in Christ and is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.